• Family,  Father's Day

    From a dad…

    I sat and watched with apt attention to see what was going to unfold between these two. Oh, it was really nothing sinister, rather more intriguing than the latter. It was the interaction between Daniel and Bibi. You see Daniel is my friend, we have been friends from when we were young men without a care in the world. In that time and at the stage we were at, I would say Daniel had done rather well for himself and as such decided to ‘settle down’ and get married. Bibi, on the other hand, is Daniel’s 4-year-old, the product of the aforementioned marriage. The scene I was watching with great…

  • Chronicles of "Becoming a mother ",  Motherhood

    Finally, my own baby 3

    I got married in the month of September 2009, got pregnant in November the same year but miscarried 2 months later. After the miscarriage, I did not conceive again till late 2010. This pregnancy was closely monitored. In the 6th week, late November 2010, my doctor, a consultant gynaecologist performed an ultrasound and noticed that my uterus was empty, he suspected that the pregnancy was ectopic and advised to go straight home, stay in bed and return the next day to see a consultant radiologist for a confirmatory test. Unfortunately, it ruptured the following morning and an emergency surgery was carried out. God saved my life because I lost so…

  • Chronicles of !"Becoming a mother!",  Mother's Day,  Pregnancy

    Finally ,my own baby! 2

    It was a beautiful day in December twelve years ago when I tied the knot with the love of my life. Like every young couple, my husband and I started looking forward to having an addition to our family, but that dream took 5 years, and honestly, those five years felt like 50 years! And with each passing month, I waited with anticipation only to be faced with disappointment whenever I saw my period.! “Aunty Flo” was as constant as the morning sun. As the months dragged  to years, I increasingly became worried. There were several times I cried myself to sleep.  When was this going to happen? Why was…

  • Chronicles of "Becoming a mother ",  Motherhood

    Finding another baby…

    Happy Mother’s day. As promised, here is our first story. It is a story of a journey of secondary infertility   I had a difficult time after I had my first daughter. Labor was painless, delivery seemingly simple but two days after I started bleeding. I ended up in the ICU with a number of complications. I came out of hospital several days later a completely different person. Looking back, the trauma I experienced dealt with me but I didn’t realize just how much. The first and obvious sign of trauma was my aversion to going through the childbirth process again. At least not for the foreseeable future. I had…

  • By Gracilis,  Chronicles of "Becoming a mother "

    Finally ,my own baby

    While we were growing up ,we lived in a close and we had  a couple who were also  church members  on that close .They were our adopted “auntie and uncle”. My brothers and I almost by default went to their house whenever possible and if my memory serves me well, we spent some  holidays especially during the  weekends with them. We accompanied them to places and they had a very active social life. We were like their children as they did not  have kids at the time . I remember a visit  to Federal Palace Hotel, Lagos  and visiting  other notable places with them .I did  not really understand the…

  • By Gracilis,  Mother's Day,  Relationship skills

    Mum did know

    One of the benefits of becoming older  is that we begin to acknowledge the sacrifices our parents made; putting food on the table, shelter over our heads , giving us education as they could afford and then the part we come to appreciate later, disciplining us. While I was growing up, my mother was greatly feared by myself. Being a strong disciplinarian, she did not spare the rod at all but I would not say I was beaten unnecessarily. Most times, when I got a beating, it was well deserved. One of the beatings that still remains eternally tattooed in my memory was the one I got the first time…

  • Father;s Day,  Marriage,  Relationship skills

    Mum didn’t know 4

    Growing up for me was blissful. I had a father who would listen,  empower  and reinforce to me the fact that God fearfully and wonderfully created me. Daddy told me daily how I could be anything I wanted to be. You see, my daddy was 30 years older than my mother. He was better educated in “terms of certificates” than her and he was a greatly travelled gentleman. My mother on the flip side, was only a standard six certificate  holder, from  a more humble background but “a very intelligent woman” without the glory of “many paper certificates”. By virtue of the gap in their background, my mother’s mantra was…

  • Growing up,  Relationship skills,  Single Life

    Mum didn’t know 3

    As a child, I really didn’t look forward to being a teenager.  When I finally turned thirteen, I told myself over and over that I wasn’t as smart as I thought.  This was because I had heard about and seen so many naughty teenagers and I really didn’t want to be like them.  Most of them did things their parents would never dream they were doing, but I really wanted to have an open relationship with my mum particularly.  It was really cool to be sent off to boarding school, where I was technically ‘safe’ from certain issues. There were all kinds of girls in this ‘safe zone’ and without…

  • Introspection,  Relationship skills

    Choosing Joy ….

    My second son has always been a bundle of joy. He keeps playing, and having fun even when things don’t look good. You see, he struggles with his health and with his academics. The difference is very obvious especially since his twin seems to be so good academically and rarely falls ill. He doesn’t say much but I know that he feels bad everytime she gets one more prize or award. But last week his time came. His school had been practicing for interhouse sports and he was representing Green House. On the very last week, he was told to switch to his sister’s house (topaz) This meant he lost…

  • Mother's Day,  Parenting,  Relationship skills

    Dear Mother,…..

    …It’s taken me a long time to get here, but there are some things I need to say….. I just want you to understand the impact you’ve had in my life; I hope you know that I am the woman I am today mainly because of the woman you are. Wow! As I am sat here trying to put my pen to paper (figuratively), I don’t even know where to start. I mean even after years of my commitment to try and understand your approach to this relationship we have, I can honestly say I don’t get it. But I’d be lying if I said I learnt nothing from it.…

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