• Marriage,  Single Life,  Wedding

    After the Wedding

    I do not know if you have had the experience of hearing these four words “I am your husband!”  I smile thinking about the few guys who introduced themselves to me in this way during my single days. It was enough for me to walk away laughing.  However, this little statement has had a different effect on me since I said ‘I DO’.Marriage is good – it really is, and I’ll defend and support getting married to the right person any day and anytime. However, God in His infinite wisdom has decided that we would not come to each other as perfect beings, but work together to achieve perfection in…

  • By Gracilis,  Love,  Romance,  Single Life

    After Valentine’s Day 2

    I still remember the  first  Valentine cantered conversation I overheard .It was in a class in an A-level schooI attended in preparation for the university admission. So these two guys were talking about how the day went. One of them mentioned his girlfriend had come with a card and a present to wish him a happy day but he wanted something more and told her that  ,if she really  loved him, she should give him her body . I don’t know how my ears didn’t drop  but having grown up all my life in church ,my immediate conclusion was that she was going to get pregnant .I was appalled especially…

  • By Gracilis,  Love,  Marriage,  Romance

    After Valentine’s Day

    So this week was Valentine and it was right in the middle of a working week. This was a valid excuse for not going out for me. Coupled with the fact that I enjoy relaxing after work at home. Well, one of the things I did was to scan social media as  knew there will be some pranks for the day and I was not disappointed. In short, the very first one was a tweet from one guy asking that people should kindly tweet till it got to the present consent. Meanwhile, his tweet was to one certain named fellow. not to buy the lie, his girlfriend named also would…

  • Attitude,  Rape,  Single Life

    Entitled Sex

    So last week, Gracilis was talking about sexual assault and attempted rape. Interestingly enough, none of the perpetrators were friends of the ladies and I sometimes wonder how perpetrators get to that sense of entitlement. I could fully empathize with the writers and glad that Gracilis had a narrow escape . It made me remember when  I had to stay over at a friend’s place some  years ago. This friend was not in town and allowed me to stay over for a few days.  As I got into the room, thanking God for a safe journey and unpacking my bags, I heard a neighbouring female moaning in the bliss of…

  • By Gracilis,  Racism & Rape,  violnce

    Violence Against Women

    Tomorrow we  will be celebrating the International Day for Elimination of Violence against Women and violence in itself has got many forms. Violence can sometimes be physical  but there can be verbal violence .There can also be sexual violence  which can be first manifest as emotional violence. And when we celebrate   a day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. It brings us to a place  where we consider one of the greatest forms of violence against women- the subject of sexual violence and considering rape .Current statistics show that about 2.5% of women and 0.4% of male have been victims of a sexual offence with about 90% of the…

  • Attitude,  Rape,  Relationship skills,  sex

    Consent & Sexual Assault

    Today delivers a heavy topic but a particularly important one. It goes without saying (but must be very clearly stated) that sexual assault is only ever caused by one person, the perpetrator. FULLSTOP!!! I believe that sex is a beautiful gift that was meant to be enjoyed by a man and woman who are united in holy matrimony and have consented to the act at that particular point in time. Obviously, sex takes place in other settings as well and it is important to acknowledge that. Like every good thing in this world, people misuse this gift in sadistic, disgusting ways. I wonder how God must feel when he sees…

  • Marriage,  Romance,  sex

    Romantic Sex

    I cannot believe it is the first Friday in November.  It just feels like it was yesterday we were wishing each other “Happy New Year” and then the month of February came. I am not sure how that month went for you and your significant other but for me, I remember it with dismay. Yes, it was the lover’s month but I must confess I did not get a card this last Valentine which ironically is also my birth month. Come to think of it, I am not sure I even received one last year or even the year before that. I am not sure if it is something that…

  • Attitude,  Resolutions/Change

    Positive Affirmations

    Even though his birthday had passed, for some unexplainable reason, my son was singing “it’s my birthday, am gonna do what I like, am gonna eat what I like, everybody loves me, it’s my birthday” As usual his twin sister got irritated and said” it’s not your birthday”. He said ” ehnn, leave me” And he kept singing. Moments later she said “you can’t do what you like” He said ” maybe you can’t but I can” And he kept on singing. She said “not everybody loves you” At this point, he didn’t even bother to reply, he just kept singing. Much louder this time. Got to a stage where…

  • Attitude,  Introspection

    Wishful Thinking

    I came across this little piece and I am drawn to the fact that it reminds me of how many times I have sometimes wished to have certain results without doing the work . It has led to frustration  and the need to go back to the drawboard  and  take the necessary steps. We could even look at others and begrudge them for their results , forgetting the fact that while they put in the necessary work, all we had was  “Wishful Thinking” .    As long as there is more than one child in a house, there always be a case to settle. Just ask any mum. There’s always…

  • girls walking in garden
    Attitude,  Friendship

    Real friends

    If you have been following us in the past few weeks, the subject of “frenemies” would not be strange and so I thought to bring a different angle to the whole matter. Someone  has rightly said that the existence of a  “fake” means that there is an “original”. So the presence of frenemies should not make us bitter as it actually reminds us of the fact that there are also true friends . It is very possible to experience real friendship but we should be ready to do the work . I’ve often pondered on the meaning of this saying “A friend in need is a friend indeed”.  There’s something…

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