Attitude,  Introspection

Benefits of Lessons

Although today is the first Friday of the second month of the year, let me start by saying Happy New Year. The New year usually forces us to look back at the lessons from the old. This hopefully should help us become better and I have done my own digging and would love to share my thoughts with you.

Whilst our words are a major part of communication. I find that sometimes, my speech is not a perfect translation of my intentions, sentiments, and feelings. When I look back at 2019, I believe that an area I failed in was the use of my words. I  sometimes said things to my loved ones, spoke words about them, and about other people who believed in me enough to entrust responsibility to me that did not mirror my overall position accurately. Even strangers were not spared as I sometimes gave commentary and judged them based on limited  TV information.

Instead of being slow to speak as the Bible adjourns, I have prided myself in expressing myself (so that I can be okay) and I look back and feel there is some narcissistic element in feeling free to just say it!  And it did not always go well as I ended up hurting some people. But in 2020, I want to speak less by reserving judgment,  thoughts, and feelings to myself and reach proper conclusions before I speak.

I also found myself putting the cart  before the horse  on some occasions in 2019. Rather than praying about anything and everything that did not feel right, I discussed problems, consoling myself that the drama in my life was enough to make a big hit in Nollywood movies.

But honestly, it was not all I shared that needed to be shared. Sometimes our problems require unloading only in the audience of the one and only person who can do something about them, permanently.


Two weeks ago, Moores talked about how an apparent setback was eventually a set up for her and that is what happened to me last year. It was as though God set me up to bless me but had to remove me (howbeit painfully) from my normal.  He has given me a new normal which is sheer bliss. I had personal experiences that were painful but led to an elevation in a way I would not have believed possible at the time!  

As a matter of fact, there were some tough decisions I had to make last year that were key to the progression of my career. The more I thought about them and the need to make the move which I thought would help, the more unsettled I felt. The issue was that the options I was faced with were not what I really wanted deep down in my heart. They were not in line with my principles and values but I did not also want to be left with nothing.

Sometimes we want something and we want it like yesterday.  Annoyingly, second-best shows up and we feel the urge to settle.  Sometimes actually, the divine plan is for us to hold back a bit and stick to our principles.  Before you know it, you find your number 1 choice and find yourself so grateful that you waited

In the midst of all my confusion, I went to the one place I knew I would find solace. I found myself in a prayer meeting at my church and all of a sudden, my pastor walked up to me and said: “God is saying don’t rush!”  He had no idea what I was going through but the word God gave him for me was perfect and clear. I wish I could tell you the issues resolved immediately but the contrariwise was the case. I went through more months of difficulty as I blindly trusted and my NO eventually paved a way.

In hindsight, I believe that the added direction in the prayer meeting saved me from rushing into something that would surely have made me miserable in the long run. You can tag this lesson; #itisgoodtoattendprayermeetings or #waittillyouhearfromGOD.The importance of being in the right place with people of like faith cannot be overstated. And really, the help we are seeking will come through people and our relationships.

But relationships like every other thing in life is subject to change. In 2019, I saw some relationships change and had to learn to come to terms with it. Not that there were any fights or quarrels, but the season changed. There were some folk s that our closeness widened and vice versa. I also met some people who did not care 2 cents about the unkind words they used. While I salute all those who have to bear with such people daily, I meandered myself away.

Somehow I was able to recognize all these various friendships and go with the flow. This meant that I  also had to forge new relationships with other people. It is important that we all try to be open and pray that when we desperately need a friendly face, a lift, a visit, an impromptu nanny, chef, anything, we will be surrounded by people of quality who will not rubbish our need for assistance.

 So in a nutshell, the previous year was one I learned quite a number of lessons from and I sincerely pray that sharing them on this platform with you has brought some benefits.

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