• By Gracilis,  Love,  Marriage,  Single Life

    Marriage is ……

    Happy new year once again! I am so excited to be back at my desk and writing. I have thought of several things to say but maybe I should start with this one as it relates to what I want to talk about. Towards the end of last year, I got married! Thank you for your congratulations. That is a life changing event I owe you as my readers to know. Perhaps it would show in the style of writing, going forwards. You know it was really an exciting time before the wedding. As the countdown to the wedding started, I had to answer several phone calls and agree to…

  • Friendship,  Romance,  Single Life

    The “options” game

    I noticed sometime ago that I was added to a group on Facebook. You know how suddenly you discover you are in some groups that one random person added you to  and for months I never really checked them out until sometime last week. It is supposed to be a ladies group that offers support  and I came about the following written by someone. “I have dated my boyfriend for 5 years now but he has not proposed. When he got a better job, I reminded him about us but he said I should give him time that he has plans ,he had plans 6 months had gone and we…

  • Just got married,  Love,  Relationship skills

    Newly wed 4

    The idea that there may be another significant woman in a husband’s life can be very threatening to a wife.  We battle enough with mothers-in-law and special Aunties and even some godmothers; so to include the added burden of a devious other somebody is a pretty big deal. I prayed concerning this area before I got into marriage as I know that I lack the energy to fight for any man.  Why should I have to? I told God I wanted what was mine and not another person’s property.  God gave me ‘my own man’, but from the first month of our marriage, I had competition.  Silver had known my…

  • Attitude,  Just got married,  Pregnancy

    Newly wed 3

    There are a lot of things that God has given us the ability to plan and carry out ourselves, but there are some things that God has left to His Sovereignty.  While we are aware that there are times and season for certain things to take place, the exact timing of most events in our lives is something only the Father knows. I had a plan.  I knew when I wanted to get married and when I wanted to have children, taking into account my age and physical fitness.  I got married 4 years after my personal schedule, but I still wanted to wait a few months before starting the…

  • Attitude,  Just got married,  Single Life

    Newlywed vibes 2

    When I married my husband, I did not for once that my husband andI would live apart.  This is something I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I will have to deal with but one thing I have learnt about being married is to be open to change and make the best of every situation no matter how bad it seems. I was believing God for a job and actually wrote down all I wanted in the new job. I kept praying and believing God. I got a call from a friend in the UK asking me if I was interested in a job in an organization here in…

  • Just got married,  Marriage,  Single Life

    Newlywed vibes 1

    One of the comments I heard while I was single from some well-intentioned guys is “I am your husband” . It was enough for me to walk away laughing.  However, this little statement has had a different effect on me since I said ‘I DO’. Marriage is good – it really is, and I’ll defend and support getting married to the right person any day and anytime. However, God in His infinite wisdom has decided that we would not come to each other as perfect beings, but work together to achieve perfection in Him. The process is not a joke. Three weeks after I got married my husband demanded that…

  • Attitude,  Marriage,  Single Life

    Desperate Marriage

    I met my husband at my church convention, one of the biggest ministries in Africa. We served in the same unit and got talking. We became friends and later o,n he proposed. I was 36 years and I was already anxious because all my five sisters got married in their mid-twenties, the one considered to have gotten married late was 29 and it was because she was studying for her masters. My husband was into dry cleaning business and after a while, the business packed up. I wasn’t deterred, I was confident things would work, I had my plans laid out. I was running a side business because where I…

  • Attitude,  By Gracilis,  Love,  Marriage

    Wicked Lovers

    I did not mean to eavesdrop but the conversation was being said in such a way that I could not help but listen. Two of my bosses were discussing their current predicament. One was advising the other on what to do since he had had the experience before. They had both been struck by the “D” word. “Make sure you move the money to your independent account . My ex transferred all the money to her account on the night she told me she wanted a divorce!” I was wondering why that was the most important thing for a wife  to do on the night  of a divorce  announcement but…

  • Betrayal,  Love,  Marriage,  Men Talk

    Foolish Lovers

    I come from a broken home with both parents remarried. I was the only child between them. I was very lonely growing up because my siblings from both my parents were my half brothers and sisters and I was always seen and treated as the outsider so I never really belonged anywhere. I had vowed even before I met Christ that no child of mine would experience the kind of life I had. Being a Christian helped to reinforce my decision. I would marry a God-fearing woman who loved God and will honor our marriage. A nagging voice at the back of my mind kept  whispering  to me that divorce…

  • Betrayal,  By Gracilis,  Single Life

    Cheating Lovers

    One of the great things about social media is the variety of madness people can put out there. Almost anybody can say anything. All they actually need is to have a smart phone and  and internet connection .And if there is one  genre that generates a lot of interest and following, it is the theme of relationships . Just today, I saw a flyer for a programmer on “how to stay with a cheating man:”. I am not sure what the attendance would be, especially as it is a paid event and I doubt if society would tolerate the female version “how to stay with a cheating woman:”.   I…

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