• Attitude,  Rape,  Single Life

    Entitled Sex

    So last week, Gracilis was talking about sexual assault and attempted rape. Interestingly enough, none of the perpetrators were friends of the ladies and I sometimes wonder how perpetrators get to that sense of entitlement. I could fully empathize with the writers and glad that Gracilis had a narrow escape . It made me remember when  I had to stay over at a friend’s place some  years ago. This friend was not in town and allowed me to stay over for a few days.  As I got into the room, thanking God for a safe journey and unpacking my bags, I heard a neighbouring female moaning in the bliss of…

  • Attitude,  Rape,  Relationship skills,  sex

    Consent & Sexual Assault

    Today delivers a heavy topic but a particularly important one. It goes without saying (but must be very clearly stated) that sexual assault is only ever caused by one person, the perpetrator. FULLSTOP!!! I believe that sex is a beautiful gift that was meant to be enjoyed by a man and woman who are united in holy matrimony and have consented to the act at that particular point in time. Obviously, sex takes place in other settings as well and it is important to acknowledge that. Like every good thing in this world, people misuse this gift in sadistic, disgusting ways. I wonder how God must feel when he sees…

  • Attitude,  Resolutions/Change

    Positive Affirmations

    Even though his birthday had passed, for some unexplainable reason, my son was singing “it’s my birthday, am gonna do what I like, am gonna eat what I like, everybody loves me, it’s my birthday” As usual his twin sister got irritated and said” it’s not your birthday”. He said ” ehnn, leave me” And he kept singing. Moments later she said “you can’t do what you like” He said ” maybe you can’t but I can” And he kept on singing. She said “not everybody loves you” At this point, he didn’t even bother to reply, he just kept singing. Much louder this time. Got to a stage where…

  • Attitude,  Introspection

    Wishful Thinking

    I came across this little piece and I am drawn to the fact that it reminds me of how many times I have sometimes wished to have certain results without doing the work . It has led to frustration  and the need to go back to the drawboard  and  take the necessary steps. We could even look at others and begrudge them for their results , forgetting the fact that while they put in the necessary work, all we had was  “Wishful Thinking” .    As long as there is more than one child in a house, there always be a case to settle. Just ask any mum. There’s always…

  • girls walking in garden
    Attitude,  Friendship

    Real friends

    If you have been following us in the past few weeks, the subject of “frenemies” would not be strange and so I thought to bring a different angle to the whole matter. Someone  has rightly said that the existence of a  “fake” means that there is an “original”. So the presence of frenemies should not make us bitter as it actually reminds us of the fact that there are also true friends . It is very possible to experience real friendship but we should be ready to do the work . I’ve often pondered on the meaning of this saying “A friend in need is a friend indeed”.  There’s something…

  • Attitude,  Relationship skills

    Seeing the other side

    One of the joys of WhatsApp is the ability to connect to several people  in a group setting. Although this can be a source of joy and  bring back real memories especially if it is to a people we  once  shared history with , it also has its share of pain and drama. Realistically, the further down  the history with a group, the more diverse the individuals would be . Taking my high school Whatsapp group for instance, at one point in our lives , we were all joined together in a private school because we belonged to a certain social class. However, when we parted ways, life happened to…

  • Attitude,  By Gracilis,  Single Life

    Pregnant? An altar reason

    Not all marriages begin with “Will you marry me ?”. Some of them begin with “I don carry belle” (“I don carry belle” means I have an unplanned pregnancy)-Facebook Post by Godwin Tom-Lawyer (things that make you say chai )   Sometime ago, my elder brother (Godwin) put up the above post on Facebook (seriously almost all his posts are interesting and when I read it, it initially brought laughter. However, after the laughter, I thought about all the people that I have seen in the latter predicament who sadly had taken that path to save face immediately but actually had found themselves in terrible conditions later on in the long run. While we…

  • Attitude,  Family,  Men Talk

    What Men want…..5

    There is something that evokes the depth of our emotion when we see someone  crying and one husband comments “Men can be hurt and cry privately in their own way sometimes. “ I gave this point a bit of thought and I would say this also goes out to both genders.  To the guys, it’s okay to cry when the need arises.  Sometimes you are hit with a tornado of an issue, and it takes everything inside you – and more, to keep your head above the waves.  One of the husbands I spoke to shared how he had cried on a few occasions openly and his wife just held him in her…

  • Attitude,  Family,  Men Talk,  Relationship skills

    What men want …3

    Let me just make a confession here. Getting all this information from the men convicted me of some of my actions. “Men are not mind readers – hence the need for clear communication.” In fact, I am guilty of this one right now.  I have been moody for over  twenty four hours, waiting for hubby to realise that I am not myself and ask what is going on, but the guy is just carrying on as normal and my mood is not getting any better. But come to think of it, if I go and change into something skimpy and walk around the house, still wearing my moody face, I…

  • Attitude,  Family,  In-Laws

    Working with in-laws

    We all come from different families where we most likely got our values and identity. Growing up as children,my siblings and I were  brought up to respect each other’s privacy, we were taught that the fact that we  are siblings was not an   automatic license to each other’s lives, neither  did  bearing the same surname  confer shareholder’s rights  in  the other person’s affairs and as we grew older and began having our own families, each one of us became more assertive. We showed our love to each other without any feeling of entitlement. We realized early all eight of us were different and there was enough room to be different…

Subscribe to our newsletter and join 78 other subscribers.

2019 © dishusbandmata.com ™

Made with by zubbystudio