• Attitude,  By Gracilis,  Love,  Marriage

    Wicked Lovers

    I did not mean to eavesdrop but the conversation was being said in such a way that I could not help but listen. Two of my bosses were discussing their current predicament. One was advising the other on what to do since he had had the experience before. They had both been struck by the “D” word. “Make sure you move the money to your independent account . My ex transferred all the money to her account on the night she told me she wanted a divorce!” I was wondering why that was the most important thing for a wife  to do on the night  of a divorce  announcement but…

  • Betrayal,  By Gracilis,  Single Life

    Cheating Lovers

    One of the great things about social media is the variety of madness people can put out there. Almost anybody can say anything. All they actually need is to have a smart phone and  and internet connection .And if there is one  genre that generates a lot of interest and following, it is the theme of relationships . Just today, I saw a flyer for a programmer on “how to stay with a cheating man:”. I am not sure what the attendance would be, especially as it is a paid event and I doubt if society would tolerate the female version “how to stay with a cheating woman:”.   I…

  • By Gracilis,  Father's Day,  Parenting

    Still celebrating dads

    Although It has been a few weeks after Father’s day, the memories of the weeks before that day  are really fresh in my mind I as well as yourself hopefully belong to a number of Whatsapp groups. I found that the week just before Father’s Day, most guys on these various platforms begin to put reminders advising the ladies not to claim ignorance of their coming “day” as well as advising on likely presents and how they would love to be treated. There were also some texts that were actually complaints of how the “fathers” actually are the ones who bear the brunt on all the so-called celebration days- Valentine’s…

  • By Gracilis,  Chronicles of "Becoming a mother "

    Finally ,my own baby

    While we were growing up ,we lived in a close and we had  a couple who were also  church members  on that close .They were our adopted “auntie and uncle”. My brothers and I almost by default went to their house whenever possible and if my memory serves me well, we spent some  holidays especially during the  weekends with them. We accompanied them to places and they had a very active social life. We were like their children as they did not  have kids at the time . I remember a visit  to Federal Palace Hotel, Lagos  and visiting  other notable places with them .I did  not really understand the…

  • By Gracilis,  Mother's Day,  Relationship skills

    Mum did know

    One of the benefits of becoming older  is that we begin to acknowledge the sacrifices our parents made; putting food on the table, shelter over our heads , giving us education as they could afford and then the part we come to appreciate later, disciplining us. While I was growing up, my mother was greatly feared by myself. Being a strong disciplinarian, she did not spare the rod at all but I would not say I was beaten unnecessarily. Most times, when I got a beating, it was well deserved. One of the beatings that still remains eternally tattooed in my memory was the one I got the first time…

  • By Gracilis,  Love,  Romance,  Single Life

    After Valentine’s Day 2

    I still remember the  first  Valentine cantered conversation I overheard .It was in a class in an A-level schooI attended in preparation for the university admission. So these two guys were talking about how the day went. One of them mentioned his girlfriend had come with a card and a present to wish him a happy day but he wanted something more and told her that  ,if she really  loved him, she should give him her body . I don’t know how my ears didn’t drop  but having grown up all my life in church ,my immediate conclusion was that she was going to get pregnant .I was appalled especially…

  • By Gracilis,  Love,  Marriage,  Romance

    After Valentine’s Day

    So this week was Valentine and it was right in the middle of a working week. This was a valid excuse for not going out for me. Coupled with the fact that I enjoy relaxing after work at home. Well, one of the things I did was to scan social media as  knew there will be some pranks for the day and I was not disappointed. In short, the very first one was a tweet from one guy asking that people should kindly tweet till it got to the present consent. Meanwhile, his tweet was to one certain named fellow. not to buy the lie, his girlfriend named also would…

  • By Gracilis,  Racism & Rape,  violnce

    Violence Against Women

    Tomorrow we  will be celebrating the International Day for Elimination of Violence against Women and violence in itself has got many forms. Violence can sometimes be physical  but there can be verbal violence .There can also be sexual violence  which can be first manifest as emotional violence. And when we celebrate   a day for the Elimination of Violence against Women. It brings us to a place  where we consider one of the greatest forms of violence against women- the subject of sexual violence and considering rape .Current statistics show that about 2.5% of women and 0.4% of male have been victims of a sexual offence with about 90% of the…

  • By Gracilis,  Friendship,  Relationship skills

    About Frenemies 2

    After last week’s article on Frenemies, I got feedback from people that showed that it was something that resonated with them . As I thought about the sequalae, and what next to write, I suddenly remembered what a friend once told me about her dad. We were talking about something and the name of a government official came up. This man was among the first five men ruling the country at that time. She shocked me when she said   “that man was my dad’s friend. He used to visit our house”. I was really surprised that they knew such an influential person in the corridors of power and before I…

  • By Gracilis,  Friendship,  Relationship skills,  Uncategorized

    About Frenemies

    When I was eight  years old,  a friend whom I met in the after school lessons gave me a card. It was titled “Why God made friends” and although I don’t remember all the words of the card. I remember this  part “God made friends because he knew mothers could not be everywhere“.  And although it has been  over three decades, I look back and see that most of my philosophy of friendship has always had a mother’s perspective. I also learnt how to be a friend by observing how my mum related with her friends, both  in their presence and absence. If my mother is your friend, you know your back is covered…

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