Attitude,  Relationship skills

Choose wisely

Whenever we get to the last month of the year, there are two temptations  that normally take place and I must confess that I sometimes fall into them .

There is this temptation to complain about the things we think we should have happened or had   and then see it as an excuse to whine. This usually is the default position for most people and then there is the temptation to take the things we have and have received for granted. Both of these usually lead us to a point where we fail to truly see the value of all we have received and enjoyed, sometimes without even having to pay for them. We also fail to see all that did not happen to us from which we benefitted. Sometimes it is really a struggle and the half-full ,half-empty glass syndrome affects us all.

Here at Dishusbandmata, we are big on relationships and attitudes that will enhance our relationships. One of such attitudes is the attitude of Gratitude. It is one attitude that has been proven also by research to be a relationship enhancer. It is something we can all practice and newsflash, it can be learnt. Not many of us were born with it and learning how to express it readily and quickly can make or mar our relationships. Someone has rightly said “Thank you”, “I am sorry” and “Please ” are three essential phrases for our  vocabulary.  We even tell our children to say the magic word for requests they make when they forget!

Do you remember how it feels when someone appreciates you or compliments you or just says “Thank You”. It goes a long way whether or not the person is a stranger or a loved one. Gratitude has a way of flavouring our relationships and this December, we are asking that you choose wisely,choosing the attitude of gratitude. Gratitude is that ability to be able to look at life with wonder and a sense of deep appreciation rather than an entitlement.

Most of us are grown up now and have our own children. At this point, providing for their needs, putting food on the table, clothes on their backs, a roof over their heads has made us come to a deep appreciation of what our own parents did for us. We have come to understand that it was sacrifice most times on their part to have provided for us.

I for one remember having private education until I got into the university and my parents did that because they believed in the importance of good education. It made them for many years not to have their own property but it was worth it all. What of the relationship between myself and my siblings? The fact that we can call each other, laugh at each other, sometimes gossip, quarrel and still settle knowing fully that we have one another’s backs and that at the end of the day, the bottom line is we love one another other and want the best for every sibling.  I know of families where there are no step children but the siblings are at war with each other and have successfully transferred the malice to the next generation severing and turning sour the relationships between cousins. What of the fact that I grew up in a home that my father was not a wife beater or a pervert sleeping with his children? I know it has happened to some and they have coped but I am grateful that my experience of growing up is filled with memories of a father who dotted on me and called me beautiful and intelligent.

What of reminding myself that after the gift of family, I have had the privilege of having good friends, I mean that is something money can never buy. I have friends I have known since my first decade, childhood friends, high school friends, friends I met in the university and even friends I have made after relocating and my goodness, what of the beauty of friends I have made at church. People who are not my relations and our paths have crossed and they have been friends and remained so. These are people  I can call on at any time and I will get a listening ear that is truly emphatic. That is one blessing that I do not take for granted.

And I woke up this morning, in a  right state of mind , able to think, read , plan and write this article.  And I did this without gasping for breath! Remember it was not too long ago when so many people lost their lives gasping for breath and battling with COVID.

This month here in Dishusbandmata, we are promoting gratitude as an attitude and as a culture. You can write to us to tell us things you are grateful for and you can also listen to our talk on our sister show, CADA Matters on Graitude here .

We choose wisely, we choose Gratitude.




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