By Gracilis,  Chronicles of "Becoming a mother "

Finally ,my own baby

While we were growing up ,we lived in a close and we had  a couple who were also  church members  on that close .They were our adopted “auntie and uncle”.

My brothers and I almost by default went to their house whenever possible and if my memory serves me well, we spent some  holidays especially during the  weekends with them. We accompanied them to places and they had a very active social life. We were like their children as they did not  have kids at the time .

I remember a visit  to Federal Palace Hotel, Lagos  and visiting  other notable places with them .I did  not really understand the significance of what they did and how they cared for us until I became older.

After we left that neighborhood, we lived in another one where I encountered another childless couple who   were my friend’s uncle and his wife. We all attended the same church.

One of my worst childhood memories as a child was one day during a church service, there was a call for prayer for people who were waiting to have a child. I think my friend’s auntie had become mentally tired by then. She didn’t come out and her husband went to the altar where people were and commanded her to come out .He gestured with his hands for her to  come out .Everyone  could see it and although I was a child ,that scenario never left me. The memory of how her face was still haunts me. I felt her shame and wondered if the husband had no clue on what he had done.

Maybe those were days we thought the problem of child bearing was just the woman. Interestingly enough ,my friend’s uncle died and the lady later remarried .She remarried a widower and I remember visiting them and there was a baby in the house.

When it comes to waiting for a child ,I am sometimes at a loss of words but I can tell you it is a pain that is very real and unfortunately we can sometimes make comments that  hurt those already being burdened by this  pain,

For some years now, Dishusbandmata posts on Mother’s day seem to have a tilt towards reminding everyone that although it is a day of joy to many, it is a sad reminder for some others . Some people are reminded of the fact that their mothers are no more or that their dream of having biological children is yet to be realized .

But this year, we have decided to do something different We feel that in order to promote and maintain healthy relationships, it would be good to hear the experiences of those who have walked this path and learn from their stories. Hopefully, these stories will inspire and encourage us, especially people who are waiting to have children 

I have walked with some of these women, seen some of their struggles and I know their stories. They have kindly agreed to share with us in these series

Every story is different and each unique story brings us to a place we can learn from .If there is any time you are going to share our posts, this is one series to share.

Also if you find yourself drawn to a particular story and wish to speak to the woman or would like her to speak to some other people, you can DM me and I will put you through.

In honour of Mother’s day, US , we will be putting our first story on Sunday May 12th .

 

 

 

 

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