Last week, Samson said something about not getting all we dream of as it could actually turn out to be a nightmare. I think his advice was timely as this week, we have had more of the sun than we ever wished for during the winter months. It has been terribly hot and although I did not like it, I seized the opportunity as an excuse to have some ice-cream. Licking ice- cream from a stick reminds me of my childhood with the several fables that were passed on as truths.
One of the things I heard growing up was “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”.I am tempted to strongly disagree with that because I am sure you also have some married girlfriends who cannot even boil an egg properly. If I were to get heart surgery, I would not want anyone trying to get to my heart from the stomach. I know there might be some truth in that statement but we should all be wary if a man’s stomach is apparently his chief concern in all his dealings with you. There are several ways you could discover this and unfortunately, some people have been told that the reason for a break -up was because they could not cook! And I am not against being able to cook but when it becomes the yardstick of acceptance, then there is a problem as it may just be a pointer that a man’s heart is not really with you.
Some years ago, I was out of work and I had this guy who was supposed to be apparently interested in me. At least I recall him saying “I love you” but confess that that was the most unconvincing time I heard that phrase used. You know how it is when you meet someone who you know is just trying to fulfill the social status of being married and it is not really that they are crazy over you. Yeah, I can see you and I am sure I have several witnesses and guys, to be honest, ladies know.
Here I was, no job, no money(he knew) and then he was like “I want to pay you a visit”.Well, I agreed to the visit and he came. Shortly after his arrival, I offered him rice and the following conversation ensued
“What kind of rice is it?” he asked.
“O, I don’t want white rice, don’t you have jollof rice ?” For real, just hang on.
“No I do not have jollof rice but I can give you juice“, I replied.
So I offered juice and biscuits which he ate. I am not sure if he knew he was going to enjoy my company for a long time but some hours into the visit, he asked, “What about the white rice? please bring it”. In the nicest voice, I could mutter, I simply replied: “O, I am sorry, that offer is over “.I meant it and eventually, when the visit came to an end, he left without eating any rice from me. I mean, why would you come to someone’s house and start ordering and making choices like it is a restaurant. The last time I checked, I did not have any restaurant sign in front of my house. This guy remained friends with me and eventually asked another friend of mine out (I told you he was not really in love0 and yes, my friend also said No I found the whole episode absurd and shared it with a friend. When she told me her own story, I had a laugh and have permission to share it also.
So this certain brother “B” asked sister K after church service on Sunday that he would like to visit which she conceded to. On the first Sunday, he was entertained with Jollof rice, fried chicken and Juice which he ate happily. The next Sunday, he did the same thing and of course, came empty-handed again. He was fed by the sister as usual. By the third Sunday, he still approached her and got himself invited over to her place. On arrival, he started his usual gist and continued. After waiting a while and seeing there was nothing forthcoming, he summoned up courage and asked her, “are you not eating today?
Her reply -” O, I don’t have rice in the house today.
He seemed to have brushed the statement aside and continued for another hour after which he asked her again when he was offered nothing -” What about Indomie, don’t you have Indomie?”
Her reply was in the negative, “I do not have indomie in the house ”
Well they say three is the godly number(Number for trinity) and so this godly brother patiently waited for almost another hour, filling up the time with a conversation that was apparently going nowhere and then asked finally -“What about garri, don’t you even have garri?”
This time, she gave it her all, and in a uncompromising manner said: ” I don’t have garri and I don’t have food in the house”.
It was not long, after a while, he finally got up and excused himself and left and your guess is as good as mine, he never came back. She was definitely glad to see him go and brought out her food to eat alone. Where do we place him? Was he just using her for a free meal as he was being genuinely interested in his stomach rather than in her? It is always necessary to distinguish between the two to avoid the pitfall with a loafer. A guy who is truly interested in you is our ideal and it is critical not to get it mixed up.
I am all for hospitality but if someone seems to be more interested in his stomach than his heart, talk less of yours for that matter, then it may cost you an arm and a leg eventually! If you are running a Soup kitchen or providing meals for the homeless, let us all know(so we can help with directions). There is no point feeding someone who is not interested in the hope that that would eventually get him hooked. When a man wants you, he will go to any extent to get you. When he does not, you will either just be wasting your time investing in where there would be no returns especially when there will always be that girl he really loves who is doing absolutely nothing but walking on the very ground he worships. Any genuine guy who is worth his salt and who is a proper toaster will be looking for a way to impress you. Ideally, if there is no food in your house after he has eaten there twice, he would think fast of how you both can go to the nearest place to get something and if he does not have the money, I am not the one who sang “No romance without finance”.