Happy new year once again! I am so excited to be back at my desk and writing. I have thought of several things to say but maybe I should start with this one as it relates to what I want to talk about. Towards the end of last year, I got married! Thank you for your congratulations. That is a life changing event I owe you as my readers to know. Perhaps it would show in the style of writing, going forwards.

You know it was really an exciting time before the wedding. As the countdown to the wedding started, I had to answer several phone calls and agree to dates for bridal showers.

I remember the very first bridal shower I had. It was organized by my friends in a city I lived in for two years over a decade ago. We still kept in touch with each other’s lives and although not necessarily having daily chats, we caught up whenever the opportunity presented. So these group of girlfriends took me to a lovely restaurant and dressed me up in those bridal headgear, veil & all. While everyone was excited, we came to the time for advice. So they decided that they would go round the table and ask everyone to complete the sentence:  “Marriage is …”

As the ladies spoke, there were several completions. I remember someone saying “Marriage is Iike ofada rice”. That got me laughing and thinking. Ofada rice is local grown rice which has its own unique taste as well as other additions to the rice grains. For those of you who love to eat ofada rice, sometimes while having the pleasure of eating the rice, your teeth may come in contact with stones. In other words, in the midst of the goodness of marriage, you may encounter some not too pleasant things. But I believe the essence of the illustration is the fact that just like eating ofada rice, we must be ready to continue and persevere based on the goodness of the rice as on a good day, we usually have an infinitesimal ratio of stones to rice.

The more thought I gave towards it, there were several lessons I learnt .Although ofada rice could typically have stones in it,if we were to enjoy it, we would need to take out the time to remove those stones before cooking it. Some form of preparation is needed and this of course would involve time. Imagine  if you bought a carton of Uncle Ben’s rice from the supermarket shelf, the thought of checking for stones or the mere possibility of encountering such is null .

And even after ofada rice is cooked, In most parties, it is served in a special way .Rather than using plates,in a bid to be indigenous, most times, it is served in leaves which makes it more appealing to most people and this actually distinguishes it .

Marriage is like ofada rice

How is your marriage / relationship doing ? This year ,are we making a resolve to take time to remove stones so that we can have an enjoyable relationship ? Are we being sensitive to the peculiarities of our own relationship and ensuring we are handling it with the delicacy it requires and at such ,presenting well at all times?

Most relationship gurus would probably agree that in a bid to idolize a well as to follow the myth of ‘happily ever after”, most of us underestimate the work it takes to build a lasting relationship. Yes, the kind of relationship that will stay the long haul after all the butterflies in the stomach have stopped their acrobatics.

Yes ,we do love LOVE and being in love but it’s going to take more than just love to keep a relationship and when it seems like we have encountered some things, remember the advice I got in my first bridal shower , Marriage is like ofada rice_

Gracilis