Still celebrating dads

Although It has been a few weeks after Father’s day, the memories of the weeks before that day  are really fresh in my mind

I as well as yourself hopefully belong to a number of Whatsapp groups. I found that the week just before Father’s Day, most guys on these various platforms begin to put reminders advising the ladies not to claim ignorance of their coming “day” as well as advising on likely presents and how they would love to be treated. There were also some texts that were actually complaints of how the “fathers” actually are the ones who bear the brunt on all the so-called celebration days- Valentine’s Day, Mother’s days including Father’s Day.

The intriguing thing about this is the fact that year after year, it is a recurring theme on most platforms I am in.   Interestingly this year, in one particular platform, Father’s Day started with the men sending the wishes and eventually complaining about the fact that the ladies were slow to give their greeting

But it appears year after year that most men are at a loss of the best way to respond when they are finally wished happy Father’s Day.

So, what makes us celebrate our fathers? I am not unaware of the fact that not everyone enjoyed a good relationship with their Fathers however I feel privileged to be one of those who have a healthy father -daughter relationship and as a child, I admired my father greatly and he was (is) one of my heroes.

There was something about the protective nature of my dad that gave me confidence My father also believed in me ,praising my beauty and brilliance.I heard severally how beautiful  and intelligent I was from my dad and he always seemed to glow with a special pride when I brought in prizes from academic achievements  and even now that he is no longer my  primary provider, I have not forgotten how he worked tirelessly to give my siblings and I the very best of education his money could afford .One of my fondest memories is that my dad loved to tease and did not like to miss an opportunity for a laugh  and we love to laugh in my family

So I am surprised these days when I read articles that insinuate that  most fathers   are neglected in their old age while the mothers are the ones cared for  by the children in their later years .I saw one of these  posts recently and  had to read several reasons from people who purported this view .

While this is not the case for my dad ( he is 83 now) ,I find that some fathers exercised their rule in their younger years in such a dictatorial way that drove their children far away .Every time daddy came into the house, the children had to change their behaviour to comply to the sometimes unreasonable demands of daddy .Some fathers enter their living rooms and the laughter being shared by their families immediately died. While I am not sure how this is a sign of being the head, I think we can change the narrative.

We can consciously start to show love openly to our children(be affectionate) and one of the things that will go a long way is being able to apologize to our children when we are wrong .Note that I use !the word “when”

We do a great disservice when we do not apologize to our children. I do not need a prophet to tell me that we have made mistakes at one point or the other and not acknowledging and taking responsibility for such sends a wrong signal to our children. The truth is we sometimes fail, even with the best intentions. When we apologize to our children, we let them know it is ok to also do so and frees them from the unrealistic pressure of being perfect.

And if we have children that are not under our roof for various reasons, they are not cut off from enjoying the father-child relationship and we should reach out to them accordingly. There is something about knowing who one’s father is that gives a child a sense of identity and stability.

And if you still have a father, let me encourage you to reach out to him ,call, text, let them know that they are a very important part of your life

Of course, this might involve some financial input, but I would rather we see it as a privilege rather than a duty.

It will almost be another year before the next Father’s Day celebration but we do not need to wait till then. Every day we can take little steps towards building & nurturing the relationships we have with our fathers as well as the ones we have with our children.

It is never too late to start doing things right and appreciating our fathers as well as striving to be good fathers every day of the year.

So, let’s keep celebrating all the fathers and father figures in our lives.