• Relationship skills

    Right Response

    It was my birthday. I had a party  and several friends were invited. It was not that I had many friends but they all tried to turn up. Most of them managed to address birthday cards to me. In those days, that in itself was expensive.There were some cards that I had duplicates and triplicates but  I got very few presents amongst which  was a  little A5 sized plaque that was framed that my brother gave me. I was disappointed at the scarcity of presents as I  expected to have received more. After all , I had thrown a party and fed people for free. I will tell you straightaway…

  • By Gracilis,  Relationship skills

    Did I say that ?

       We called it a social gathering/nite . It held at least once a term. All the students usually participated on a Saturday night. There was dance, drama, quiz, debates and games. It was our own way of getting together. Every class came Sometimes people were put on the spot.  On one of those days of our social nights out when I was still in a very junior class,  still in my boarding school, a female  senior student was brought out and one of my female  classmates (was also brought out) and then the MC asked my classmate to say something about the senior. I am not too sure she…

  • By Gracilis,  Relationship skills,  Timeless Stories

    Garbage in, Garbage out

      Attending a boarding school is one of the very life experiences I am eternally grateful that I had the opportunity of having. In short most of my siblings did . One of the great advantages of being a boarder was the fact that you learnt how to live communally, we ate the same food at the same time, woke up , worked and slept at the same time. Unlike the day students who left the show at 2pm, the borders had 24 hours to each other, leaving there to be no room for pretense It meant that there could be drama and drama in the very sense of the…

  • By Gracilis,  Marriage,  Single Life

    The Prep to Becoming 2

    Last week, Keisha was talking about the path to becoming and it was quite an insightful read. If you have not had the opportunity to do so, it may be better to do so now before continuing with this piece.     I have lived a few decades here and am yet to be able to count on one finger individuals whom I have met who have not expressed a desire to get married. This usually is a desire for several reasons- sometimes companionship, status, procreation and financial reasons to mention a few . But I have come to notice that not everyone who expresses this desire is actually bothering…

  • By Gracilis,  Marriage,  Single Life

    The Prep to ‘Becoming’

    When I think about my single days and the guys I met at various times, there are some comments and experiences which stand out in my thoughts.  For example, I remember getting to University and wanting to really experience what it was to be a ‘girlfriend’. While I had hung out with guys and attempted a long-distance relationship (which started while we were apart), I had never really been anyone’s girlfriend in what I thought was the proper sense of the word.  It didn’t take long to get ‘hooked up’ but the process wasn’t quite what I thought it would be.  My boyfriend was dark and very attractive, not a…

  • By Gracilis,  In-Laws,  Timeless Stories

    The Good, the Bad & the Ugly

      Classifying things into groups is a well  known method for enhancing memorization and   this can be extended to people including our in-laws. The word “in-law” can instantly produce many memories depending on the various types. While I would not say that we are to be held responsible for their actions, some of their behavior to us are actually reactions to our words and actions.   Using the title above, the “good” in-laws as those who have thankfully accepted you as family with no obvious separation between you and the other family members. What is good for the goose is good for the gander and as such ,you are not…

  • Attitude,  By Gracilis,  Relationship skills

    Going Forward

      Here we are , at the last quarter of the year and if you are like me, some of my thoughts are where did the year got. It wasnt long I was buying Christmas cards in January against a December which seemed so far away then . Getting into the last segment of the year has been quite overwhelming as one looks at the challenges encountered in the previous three quarters, If there was anything that made the last quarter quite memorable was the fact that it was a time of some sober  reflections as the news of the departure of some people reached our ears.  One of my friends…

  • Family,  Parenting,  Timeless Stories

    The things I never told my Mother

    Growing up for me was blissful. I had a father who would listen,  empower  and reinforce to me the fact that God fearfully and wonderfully created me. Daddy told me daily how I could be anything I wanted to be. You see, my daddy was 30 years older than my mother. He was better educated in “terms of certificates” than her and he was a greatly travelled gentleman. My mother on the flip side, was only a standard six certificate  holder, from  a more humble background but “a very intelligent woman” without the glory of “many paper certificates”.  By virtue of the gap in their background, my mother’s mantra was…

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