• Family,  In-Laws,  Relationship skills

    A Tale of Two Women

    I have followed dishusbandmata for some years now, and having read several topics and issues discussed, I thought it would be okay to do some articles by way of commenting on some topics that have been of interest to me from a husband’s perspective. Naturally, I wouldn’t be expected to tell long and flowery stories whilst making my views known, rather, I will go straight to the point and hit the hammer on the nail straight away. That’s because I am a man, and men go straight to the point. Maybe one of those things that makes “husbandmata” an issue for  most wifeys. I will try to give a (man’s)…

  • Family,  In-Laws,  Marriage

    Understanding my In-Laws

    We all come from different families where we most likely got our values and identity. Growing up as children,my siblings and I were  brought up to respect each other’s privacy, we were taught that the fact that we  are siblings was not an   automatic license to each other’s lives, neither  did  bearing the same surname  confer shareholder’s rights  in  the other person’s affairs and as we grew older and began having our own families, each one of us became more assertive. We showed our love to each other without any feeling of entitlement. We realized early all eight of us were different and there was enough room to be different…

  • Family,  Relationship skills

    Voices from the Village

    I spent most of my childhood and teenage years in Africa, so I understand the saying “It takes a whole Village to raise a child”. I have memories of being told-off by absolute strangers for things that they had no vested interest in.  Some of those ‘busy-body’ moments were actually welcome, but most of them … well, let’s just say they don’t bring back fond memories. As I have grown older, and I am tempted to force my advice on the youth around me, I remember how I felt, receiving those words of wisdom that I did not ask for.  This makes me pause a little, and think a while…

  • Marriage,  Single Life,  Unfaithfulness

    So,I confessed…

    Confessions of infidelity come in different forms and types. Social media has also made some confessions that were meant to be private to become public. Although one would expect   that before a confession goes public, the individuals involved would have known already. But there are circumstances where before the culprit has the chance to make a confession, the events have been made public. This of course makes the confession or reconciliation process to be more arduous. But no matter how the confession comes out, at one point or the other, we must come to deal with the aftermaths of a Confession. It  is important  to respond to a confession appropriately…

  • By Gracilis,  Marriage,  Single Life,  Unfaithfulness

    Making the Confession

    Her husband had taken his bath. She watched him dress up and when he attempted to leave, she reminded him that their Pastor had promised to visit He acknowledged her but promised to be back as soon as possible. He had barely left the house when the doorbell rang. She welcomed their Pastor and began profusely apologizing for her husband’s absence but he interrupted her by saying she was actually the one he wanted to see. Her Pastor took his seat and then began to talk. She had had a few doubts about her husband but did not expect this was how she would be informed about a stepchild. She…

  • By Gracilis,  Family,  Unfaithfulness

    Cheating does Sting

    Just today, I saw a flyer for a programmer on “how to stay with a cheating man:”. I am not sure what the attendance would be, especially as it is a paid event and I doubt if society would tolerate the female version “how to stay with a cheating woman:”.   I dare say that a cheating man seems to be accepted norm in our society but that in itself   does not ease the pain that cheating brings. No one can sincerely say they did not or do not have any qualms about their partner cheating and that is because the nature of true love in itself is jealousy and…

  • By Gracilis,  Family,  Relationship skills

    Daddy versus Husband

    “Na oversabi wife dey call her husband  daddy” I remember the first time I heard that phrase used. I was actually puzzled about it because I knew many wives that called their husbands daddy. Some have done it out of courtesy as children have been born and children being children usually pick up the names they hear us call another and in an African setting or even majority of cultures, it would be disrespectful for a child to refer to his/her parents by their first name at some point in their lives , so some women have virtually had to use the name daddy for their husbands because of the children…

  • Relationship skills,  Single Life

    Home or Zoo

    In the course of waiting on the Lord, a lot of things happened that made me wonder why people, including Christians act or say the things they do. Being a matured single doesn’t make you any different from the seemingly young single girl out there. Sadly people think the pressure of age is enough reason for a matured single lady to target another woman’s husband   or for crazy unsolicited  advice to be offered by so called well-meaning people all in the bid to get her married.   Some 13 years ago, some of us in  my church were looking to invest in Agriculture so we were going to look at some…

  • Introspection,  Marriage

    “I am your husband”

    What a comment! I smile thinking about the few guys who introduced themselves to me in this way during my single days. It was enough for me to walk away laughing.  However, this little statement has had a different effect on me since I said ‘I DO’.Marriage is good – it really is, and I’ll defend and support getting married to the right person any day and anytime. However, God in His infinite wisdom has decided that we would not come to each other as perfect beings, but work together to achieve perfection in Him. The process is not a joke. Three weeks after I got married my husband demanded…

  • Betrayal,  By Gracilis,  Love

    Un-break my heart

    Some years ago when I lived in Hull, some friends came visiting and after sometime we started singing or perhaps. I started the song. The lyrics were a bit wrapped as myself and one of the visitors friend sang the popular Tony Braxton’s  song as “Come break my heart “.   Un-break my heart Say you’ll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights Un-break my heart My heart Luckily the second friend who was present corrected us and we were informed it was Unbreak my heart . We shared…

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