• By Gracilis,  Church,  Relationship skills

    Church Drama 2

    So today I was wondering which of the stories I should recount I think the best way is to continue chronologically so here we go Growing up in a local assembly church meant growing up in a church family where everyone knew your family.it also meant you knew other people and church family was really part of our lives then .What could be dangerous sometimes is befriending some people who happened to know everyone with their secrets. I remember going to church for all night prayers at about 9pm and having to sleep on the benches (before we bought white plastic chairs) as we waited for 12 midnight to start…

  • Attitude,  By Gracilis,  Church

    Church Drama

    I looked at the topic for this month and thought o my word, I could write a tribology on this. To be honest, I have been in church all my life, I have grown up in church, in short, I was born in church. I was born in the church maternity right on the church premises, with a lot of prayers. Every time the church doors opened, I was there and I helped to close the doors on some occasions. And as the years have passed, I have seen drama upon drama. But it is just typical because the church is made up of people like you and me. Imperfect…

  • Attitude,  By Gracilis,  Friendship

    Frenemies 2

    After last week’s article on Frenemies, I got feedback from people that showed that it was something that resonated with them . As I thought about the sequalae, and what next to write, I suddenly remembered what a friend once told me about her dad. We were talking about something and the name of a government official came up. This man was among the first five men ruling the country at that time. She shocked me when she said   “that man was my dad’s friend. He used to visit our house”. I was really surprised that they knew such an influential person in the corridors of power and before I…

  • Attitude,  By Gracilis,  Friendship

    Frenemies

    When I was eight  years old,  a friend whom I met in the after school lessons gave me a card. It was titled “Why God made friends” and although I don’t remember all the words of the card. I remember this  part “God made friends because he knew mothers could not be everywhere“.  And although it has been  over three decades, I look back and see that most of my philosophy of friendship has always had a mother’s perspective. I also learnt how to be a friend by observing how my mum related with her friends, both  in their presence and absence. If my mother is your friend, you know your back is covered…

  • By Gracilis,  Father's Day,  Parenting

    Dads & Daughters

    I had two teenage girls turn up for a clinic appointment 2 weeks ago. An elderly gentleman was with them. I was not too sure if he was dad or grandad but I admired the relationship they enjoyed portrayed by their conversations. This elderly gentleman teasingly answered some of the questions I asked, stating that the girls were spending too much time on their phones. He even knew what the girls career ambitions were. When one of them expressed the fact that she wanted to be a medical doctor, I advised her that she needed to get some work experience. The gentleman then chipped in that their mother would be…

  • By Gracilis,  Friendship,  Marriage,  sex,  Single Life

    Bedroom Friends

    Most single people think that most married people are having sex all the time. But a realistic view into the bedrooms of so many married couples, we would discover the contrary. Apart from the sad reality of those facing the “Dead Bedroom Syndrome” where sex is no more an agenda in their marriage (a painful extreme), a healthy dose of married people do a lot more than sex in the bedroom. A lot of their time is spent talking and hopefully communicating and building on the friendship they cultivated that eventually led to the altar. But one of the most frequent complaints I hear from some ladies is the fact…

  • By Gracilis,  Relationship skills,  Romance,  Single Life

    When it ends

    O girl, I’m sorry Your;re not my kind of girl … O girl, I’m sorry You’re  not my kind of girl … You’re Not My Kind of Girl  New Edition I am not sure if you remember the chorus of  this hit  “You are Not my kind of girl”  by New Edition  but it was one of those songs that was so good to dance to but not be told. When it comes to the matter of love, no one likes to be rebuffed. And love songs in general are one of the most sang songs because many people can relate. Whether it is about new love, lost love ,…

  • By Gracilis,  Relationship skills,  Single Life

    Honourable Ex-es

    Being in love is one of the greatest things that can happen to anyone and it can either bring out the best or the worst in us. Well we do not usually see the latter unless sometimes the whole love thing goes the wrong way. And there are several reasons why love could go the wrong way and all the declarations of love turn sour. Two years ago during the pandemic. the forced Lockdown was cited as one of the causes for some breakups recently and no matter how much both parties will agree to the necessity of a breakup, one person is bound to be hit more emotionally and…

  • By Gracilis,  Relationship skills,  Romance

    Romantic Neighbours

    One of the advantages of living in the neighbourhood and having neighbours, is the tendency to be seen. The chances that we could strike a conversation that could lead to something special is always there.  Sometimes our neighbours want something more and we are not interested. Well, I think it is always very good to define the relationship from the very beginning and I dare say that romance in the neighbourhood also has its rules of engagement like romance in the workplace. So shortly after I arrived and settled in the United Kingdom, I was faced with the challenge of accommodation.  One of my former housemates got married and by…

  • By Gracilis,  Friendship,  Introspection

    Be Prepared 3

    Wow, January really flew past and it is hard to believe this is the last Friday of the month! Well, that means most of us have been paid and are probably more relaxed. We survived and have found time now to read our favourite blog. And yes, we have missed you too. So we have been talking about being prepared and just as we round up this month, perhaps we should end on the note of being prepared for good things. And when I say that, I mean sometimes the simple things along the way we can do that can just make someone else’s day. Sometimes even a simple hello…

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