• Abuse,  By Gracilis,  Family

    She hurts , we hurt

    How could he have done that?  Are you sure she was killed?  So you mean we will not hear that voice again?  What was the church doing?  How could she have been so much in the public eye and all that was going on in her home and no one knew?  She confided in us but swore us to secrecy.  And the comments and questions went on. Even interviewing the children and siblings of the deceased brought out details I would not like to recall . I was appalled when I found out that this gospel singer died from injuries inflicted by her spouse and it seemed the whole country…

  • Family,  Marriage

    One home,two houses

    Living apart ….. this is something I never imagined in my wildest dream that I will have to deal with but one thing I have learnt about being married is to be open to change and make the best of every situation no matter how bad it seems.   I was believing God for a job and actually wrote down all I wanted in the new job. I kept praying and believing God. I got a call from a friend in the UK asking me if I was interested in a job in an organization here in Nigeria. I went for the interview and it went well. It was also…

  • Family,  Pregnancy,  Wedding

    My hidden Pregnancy

      I was not overly worried about not having a baby immediately after I got married because I had had a revelation where I was pregnant with twins. Two years after marriage I was 40. I asked God for a 40th birthday present- my own baby. I missed my period and excitedly went for a test and it was positive, was quite happy. Some days later (Aunty Flow-the monthly visitor) showed up. I got confused   and then I went for another test and it came out negative. I decided to do a scan. The scan results showed I had ovarian cyst in one of my ovaries. I did the scan…

  • Attitude,  Family,  Father's Day

    The search for “Y”

    Ah, the month of June.  Growing up watching the movie ‘Seven brides for seven brothers’ got me thinking June was the most romantic month of all, as it seemed to be the perfect time for a wedding; but as an adult living in a first world country, I came to understand it is also one of the most expensive months for a wedding, for the same romantic reasons. The joy of becoming a parent (by choice) can’t really be described.  And while the women get the privilege of carrying this extension of themselves internally for 9 months, the fathers also wear a sense of fulfilment and pride in being responsible…

  • Family,  Father's Day,  Parenting

    A dad writes

    I sat and watched with apt attention to see what was going to unfold between these two. Oh, it was really nothing sinister, rather more intriguing than the latter. It was the interaction between Daniel and Bibi. You see Daniel is my friend, we have been friends from when we were young men without a care in the world. In that time and at the stage we were at, I would say Daniel had done rather well for himself and as such decided to ‘settle down’ and get married. Bibi, on the other hand, is Daniel’s 4-year-old, the product of the aforementioned marriage. The scene I was watching with great…

  • Attitude,  Family

    Me,a Daddy’s girl?

    The month of June is here again and I look back to two years ago, when we could not celebrate Mother’s Day as usual and even the Father’s Day in June was met with mixed reactions. Although there were changes in the Lockdown rules, people could not really visit their father’s without thinking about putting them at risk. I am happy that we have the pandemic behind us now and hopefully visits to our Fathers in this month of June will be back to normal. But normal for me means I would not be paying my father a visit although let me admit, that the thought crossed my mind. I…

  • Attitude,  Family,  Little Ones Teaching (LOT)Series

    A closed mind

    As any regular school morning would go, we were all rushing. Rushing to get dressed. Rushing to eat. Rushing to get in the car. We were finally ready and then I heard a commotion behind me. The twins were arguing 🤦🤦. What was really the issue? Who would stay on a particular side of the car? And I heard “it’s my turn” “can’t you shift” “I want to go thru this way” and plenty other arguments. Back story; they have obviously come up with a system about who sits where on which day, for the sake of equality. And someone else was not following the rules. The irony of this…

  • Attitude,  Family,  Relationship skills

    I messed up

    Stories about an ‘Ex’ can seem juicy when you walked away with the better deal; but not so much when you are the one who got dumped or dupped. Being an ‘Ex’ anything, still associates you with that thing, implying it is a part of your story, even though it is no longer a part of you.  I guess that is why an Ex-Con will still struggle with employment, or an Ex-addict is still advised to stay away from whatever he/she was addicted to.  Even an Ex-President still enjoys certain presidential benefits.  The status is in the past, but its scent somehow lingers in the present, whether good or bad……

  • Attitude,  Family,  Relationship skills

    Neighbourly tips

    Troublesome neighbours are a reality of life and are not restricted to certain climes.  Sometime ago I was asking my brother if he had received a parcel I  had sent for  his children and somehow our conversation shifted  to his neighbours. You see depending on the area you live in  sometimes, it might be possible for your neighbours to collect from the postman a parcel of yours in your absence. This would save you the trouble of going to the delivery office to pick up the parcel.   So I was enquiring if his neighbours did this for each other and he explained that his neighbours were not on  talking…

  • Family,  Love

    Must have been love…

    Is this love, is this love is this love, is this love that I’m feeling Is this love, is this love, is this love, is this love that I ‘m feeling   I had a lot of butterflies when my husband eventually came and I believed that the love we shared would conquer all the storms and difficulties that may come our way. I believed that we had learnt a lot, done several counselling sessions and when the D-day came, I was over the moon. Finally, I had a man I could call my own and we were in love. I hate to say that I barely had a proper…

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