• girls walking in garden

    True friends

    There are friends who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Prov 18:24 RSV I remember reading this verse in my big Revised Standard Version Bible as a teenager while in boarding school.  I have enjoyed the benefits of having good friends for a really long time so I’ll try and share some stories and home truths with you.   I have to say that when love starts to blossom and grow in your head and heart, having good friends will be a great support.  Two experiences stand out in my mind.  The first happened when I was 16.  I had my…

  • Attitude,  Friendship

    A Friend in Deed

    I know that in the past weeks, we have been looking at “Frenemies” and while I have had my share of them also, I would like us to end on the note of true friendship. And this is because I have been blessed with more friends than frenemies. I’ve often pondered on the meaning of this saying “A friend in need is a friend indeed”.  There’s something about it that seems incomplete, thus giving room for a variety of interpretations.  I had to carry out a little research and sure enough, there is more than one meaning to this saying.  The first school of thought (which I tend to subscribe…

  • Attitude,  By Gracilis,  Friendship

    Frenemies 2

    After last week’s article on Frenemies, I got feedback from people that showed that it was something that resonated with them . As I thought about the sequalae, and what next to write, I suddenly remembered what a friend once told me about her dad. We were talking about something and the name of a government official came up. This man was among the first five men ruling the country at that time. She shocked me when she said   “that man was my dad’s friend. He used to visit our house”. I was really surprised that they knew such an influential person in the corridors of power and before I…

  • Attitude,  By Gracilis,  Friendship


    When I was eight  years old,  a friend whom I met in the after school lessons gave me a card. It was titled “Why God made friends” and although I don’t remember all the words of the card. I remember this  part “God made friends because he knew mothers could not be everywhere“.  And although it has been  over three decades, I look back and see that most of my philosophy of friendship has always had a mother’s perspective. I also learnt how to be a friend by observing how my mum related with her friends, both  in their presence and absence. If my mother is your friend, you know your back is covered…

  • By Gracilis,  Friendship,  Marriage,  sex,  Single Life

    Bedroom Friends

    Most single people think that most married people are having sex all the time. But a realistic view into the bedrooms of so many married couples, we would discover the contrary. Apart from the sad reality of those facing the “Dead Bedroom Syndrome” where sex is no more an agenda in their marriage (a painful extreme), a healthy dose of married people do a lot more than sex in the bedroom. A lot of their time is spent talking and hopefully communicating and building on the friendship they cultivated that eventually led to the altar. But one of the most frequent complaints I hear from some ladies is the fact…

  • Attitude,  Friendship,  Resolutions/Change

    Friends as Neighbours ?

    Hmmm, where do I start? In reality, we have neighbours from the moment we are born.  We don’t call our family ‘neighbours’ but living with fellow humans in any proximity is the beginning of the neighbourly experience.  If we discount family, then for some of us, our first ‘housemate’ experience might have been boarding school i.e., during secondary education, or at the University.  In my boarding school, we were approximately forty students between the ages of ten and seventeen, in a massive room.  You had a bunkmate, as the beds were 6-spring Iron bunkbeds, and you had 2 or more side mates, depending on which corner you got.  While boarding…

  • Attitude,  Friendship,  Introspection

    Peaceful Neighbours?

    Sometime in 2019, I desperately needed to move out of the apartment I was in for many reasons, two of which were, the services the landlord was providing me were way below par, and my tenancy was long overdue. Before you start to judge me, know that it was not my intention to overstay my welcome. I had initially indicated my intention to new the tenancy on the condition that the landlord fixed some of the obvious issues the property had. However, for whatever reason, he was taking longer than needed to get to it, hence the need to move out urgently. I sat down in my living room that…

  • By Gracilis,  Friendship,  Introspection

    Be Prepared 3

    Wow, January really flew past and it is hard to believe this is the last Friday of the month! Well, that means most of us have been paid and are probably more relaxed. We survived and have found time now to read our favourite blog. And yes, we have missed you too. So we have been talking about being prepared and just as we round up this month, perhaps we should end on the note of being prepared for good things. And when I say that, I mean sometimes the simple things along the way we can do that can just make someone else’s day. Sometimes even a simple hello…

  • Attitude,  Friendship

    Be Prepared 2

    Last week Friday, Jasmine was urging all of us to “be prepared “this year. She especially mentioned us being prepared for the good, the bad and the ugly. I thought about the examples she mentioned and it occurred to me that sometimes we are not prepared for some of the “ugly” aftermath of having relationships. As long as we are dealing with people, be it with our spouses, partners, friends, work colleagues or even neighbours, we all need to be prepared for times when there would be disappointments, disagreements, offences and betrayals. Irrespective of the fact that these are not always deliberate, the pain felt can be real and can…

  • Attitude,  Friendship,  Relationship skills

    Making Enemies & Emotional Intelligence

    Someone bought a car and another friend was congratulating them on social media and the following conversation ensued Friend A – Congratulations girl, Soar on, More and more big wins Friend B –Why do we celebrate liabilities in this part of the world.Especially very  costly liabilities  A car is just a tool  to move from point A to point B  . Yet we celebrate like we have achieved something great . Let’s stop this culture… Its not healthy To which friend A replied;” Is it your liability ? Abeg when you acquire your own liabilities , please MOURN them . Thank you It made me laugh but got me thinking…

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