• Kid smiling to camera
    Abuse,  By Gracilis,  Love

    Celebrating Manhood

    This week we will be celebrating the International Men’s Day and on our sister group, we had an Instagram Live talk discussing ” Celebrating Manhood”. Interestingly the guest was also unaware that there was a day for men known as the International Men’s Day .And he is not alone Iit is quite interesting the responses I got trying to remind people  in various WhatsApp groups I belong to. While I got some positive response from the women folk this year, re-echoing and advising that we should honour the men, some of the men folk voiced out their suspicion as to the agenda behind the International Men’s day . It was…

  • Abuse,  By Gracilis,  Love

    Lying Love

    I meet several people and have the privilege of listening to their stories. Sometimes my heart is so broken as I hear the pain in their voice as they recount details of a relationship where they taught love was a common factor. It baffles me sometimes when I wonder if we  actually remember those vows we made , if we meant to keep them or we  were just lying through our  teeth as we stood making vows we   did not intend to keep.Sometimes it is the pain of wondering if the love we experienced or claimed to give or receive  was a lie. I remember  listening  in on the conversation…

  • Attitude,  Love,  Marriage

    Celebrating You

    There are a lot of things that God has given us the ability to plan and carry out ourselves, but there are some things that God has left to His Sovereignty.  While we are aware that there are times and season for certain things to take place, the exact timing of most events in our lives is something only the Father knows.   I had a plan.  I knew when I wanted to get married and when I wanted to have children, taking into account my age and physical fitness.  I got married 4 years after my personal schedule, but I still wanted to wait a few months before starting…

  • Love,  Relationship skills

    Dramatic Ex

      I was at a shopping mall with my wife. After picking some items, we moved to the checkout queue to pay for them. There, on the queue, a lady directly ahead of us turned around. Our eyes locked. I froze. It was my ex. Immediately, her expression changed. It became less than friendly. In the very awkward moment, I was somehow able to mumble a “hello”. I anticipated a similar response from her. I was disappointed. Instead, she took a brief condescending look at me, and then at my wife. After which, she turned around and moved forward on the queue to replace the person in front of her.…

  • Love,  Marriage,  Romance,  sex

    Tick ,tick

    Tick tick says the clock What you have to do, do quick I cannot believe it is the last Friday in February. I must admit that January did not seem long as it used to and before I knew it February was here. Yes, it is the lover’s month but I must confess I did not get a card this Valentine which ironically is also my birth month. Come to think of it, I am not sure I even received one last year or even the year before that. I am not sure if it is something that my husband has put into a box labelled “no longer necessary” but…

  • Love,  Marriage,  Romance

    Keeping Love fresh….

    For some of us who may not now , Gracilis is a name I acquired from the medical school. So besides writing here, I actually have a part time medical job now with patients. In short, I was at work today and had a good time with my patients. The last person I saw told me she was quite scared of meeting the dentist and I assured her, I would only be looking and doing nothing. Interestingly she told me she is a counsellor so at the end of my consultation,, she was very relaxed and I told her she would probably use the experience as an example for her…

  • Family,  Love

    Must have been love…

    Is this love, is this love is this love, is this love that I’m feeling Is this love, is this love, is this love, is this love that I ‘m feeling   I had a lot of butterflies when my husband eventually came and I believed that the love we shared would conquer all the storms and difficulties that may come our way. I believed that we had learnt a lot, done several counselling sessions and when the D-day came, I was over the moon. Finally, I had a man I could call my own and we were in love. I hate to say that I barely had a proper…

  • Attitude,  Love,  Romance

    Is it love ?

    I have still not said Happy New Year to all I intend to and the next thing on the agenda is St Valentine’s Day.Not everyone believes in celebrating Valentine though but that should not stop us from recognizing what the season or the day represents. Several people use this time to declare their love and I remember when I was in high school, one of my roommates had an anonymous Valentine card.Well, it actually seemed anonymous but as she peered and touched the card, she came across a small seal which she broke. It revealed the name of the sender.He was one of the quiet boys in the class. No…

  • Abuse,  By Gracilis,  Family,  Love

    When Love is a Lie

    She could never forget the first day it happened. As the drop of liquid landed on her body, her confusion about its source as well as its willingness to find its way on her arm puzzled her .Had  the tension  in the house gotten so bad that it blew the roof , temporarily ?Was it possible that it was raining in her house? How could it be one isolated drop?. She looked at her husband in utter disbelief and the gleam in his eyes was unmistakable. At the corner of his mouth was a sickening smile that had begun to form, he was glaring at her with a fake look…

  • Love,  Marriage,  sex

    So, Let’s go there!

      Sex isn’t a topic many Africans are comfortable talking about.  The Caribbeans and Caucasians are way ahead of us when it comes to talking about it, and so one can only imagine what we think on the matter of Sexual Therapy… Well, I’ve just about summoned enough courage to say a few things on the matter – So let’s go there! Unlike Hollywood has led most of us to believe, being able to satisfy your spouse sexually is not always a natural talent, neither is swimming for that matter.  I honestly thought everyone was born with the ability to swim and as I child, I spent ages dreaming about…

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