• Love,  Relationship skills

    Dramatic Ex

      I was at a shopping mall with my wife. After picking some items, we moved to the checkout queue to pay for them. There, on the queue, a lady directly ahead of us turned around. Our eyes locked. I froze. It was my ex. Immediately, her expression changed. It became less than friendly. In the very awkward moment, I was somehow able to mumble a “hello”. I anticipated a similar response from her. I was disappointed. Instead, she took a brief condescending look at me, and then at my wife. After which, she turned around and moved forward on the queue to replace the person in front of her.…

  • Love,  Marriage,  Romance,  sex

    Tick ,tick

    Tick tick says the clock What you have to do, do quick I cannot believe it is the last Friday in February. I must admit that January did not seem long as it used to and before I knew it February was here. Yes, it is the lover’s month but I must confess I did not get a card this Valentine which ironically is also my birth month. Come to think of it, I am not sure I even received one last year or even the year before that. I am not sure if it is something that my husband has put into a box labelled “no longer necessary” but…

  • Love,  Marriage,  Romance

    Keeping Love fresh….

    For some of us who may not now , Gracilis is a name I acquired from the medical school. So besides writing here, I actually have a part time medical job now with patients. In short, I was at work today and had a good time with my patients. The last person I saw told me she was quite scared of meeting the dentist and I assured her, I would only be looking and doing nothing. Interestingly she told me she is a counsellor so at the end of my consultation,, she was very relaxed and I told her she would probably use the experience as an example for her…

  • Family,  Love

    Must have been love…

    Is this love, is this love is this love, is this love that I’m feeling Is this love, is this love, is this love, is this love that I ‘m feeling   I had a lot of butterflies when my husband eventually came and I believed that the love we shared would conquer all the storms and difficulties that may come our way. I believed that we had learnt a lot, done several counselling sessions and when the D-day came, I was over the moon. Finally, I had a man I could call my own and we were in love. I hate to say that I barely had a proper…

  • Attitude,  Love,  Romance

    Is it love ?

    I have still not said Happy New Year to all I intend to and the next thing on the agenda is St Valentine’s Day.Not everyone believes in celebrating Valentine though but that should not stop us from recognizing what the season or the day represents. Several people use this time to declare their love and I remember when I was in high school, one of my roommates had an anonymous Valentine card.Well, it actually seemed anonymous but as she peered and touched the card, she came across a small seal which she broke. It revealed the name of the sender.He was one of the quiet boys in the class. No…

  • Abuse,  By Gracilis,  Family,  Love

    When Love is a Lie

    She could never forget the first day it happened. As the drop of liquid landed on her body, her confusion about its source as well as its willingness to find its way on her arm puzzled her .Had  the tension  in the house gotten so bad that it blew the roof , temporarily ?Was it possible that it was raining in her house? How could it be one isolated drop?. She looked at her husband in utter disbelief and the gleam in his eyes was unmistakable. At the corner of his mouth was a sickening smile that had begun to form, he was glaring at her with a fake look…

  • Love,  Marriage,  sex

    So, Let’s go there!

      Sex isn’t a topic many Africans are comfortable talking about.  The Caribbeans and Caucasians are way ahead of us when it comes to talking about it, and so one can only imagine what we think on the matter of Sexual Therapy… Well, I’ve just about summoned enough courage to say a few things on the matter – So let’s go there! Unlike Hollywood has led most of us to believe, being able to satisfy your spouse sexually is not always a natural talent, neither is swimming for that matter.  I honestly thought everyone was born with the ability to swim and as I child, I spent ages dreaming about…

  • Betrayal,  By Gracilis,  Love

    Un-break my heart

    Some years ago when I lived in Hull, some friends came visiting and after sometime we started singing or perhaps. I started the song. The lyrics were a bit wrapped as myself and one of the visitors friend sang the popular Tony Braxton’s  song as “Come break my heart “.   Un-break my heart Say you’ll love me again Undo this hurt you caused When you walked out the door And walked out of my life Un-cry these tears I cried so many nights Un-break my heart My heart Luckily the second friend who was present corrected us and we were informed it was Unbreak my heart . We shared…

  • Love,  Romance,  Single Life

    Knowing the “One”

    The Valentine season is a few months gone and for some people, it marked the beginning of a new relationship while for some others, it probably identified cracks in a relationship they thought was developing. The unmistakable silence pre and post Valentine period has only gone on to prove that they have once again been unlucky in the game of love.No matter how many heartbreaks we sometimes go through, we still all hope that we will find true love and with every other relationship, the expectations of our heart spar as we wonder if we have come to the end of the search. There comes a time in the life…

  • Love,  Resolutions/Change

    Don’t Cheat yourself

    I struggled to come up with an idea for this article as ‘cheating’ is not a topic that crosses my path often.  The word is very uncommon in my circle and the experience is hardly mentioned; either by the cheater or the person being cheated.  I also feel like this topic has been addressed on so many levels that I couldn’t think of what I could possibly say that might throw some new light on the matter.  Then a friend rang me this week to rant about his niece who had just committed suicide over an argument with her boyfriend. Listening to the story, we were both angry at this young woman who…

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