• By Gracilis,  Father's Day,  Parenting

    Dads & Daughters

    I had two teenage girls turn up for a clinic appointment 2 weeks ago. An elderly gentleman was with them. I was not too sure if he was dad or grandad but I admired the relationship they enjoyed portrayed by their conversations. This elderly gentleman teasingly answered some of the questions I asked, stating that the girls were spending too much time on their phones. He even knew what the girls career ambitions were. When one of them expressed the fact that she wanted to be a medical doctor, I advised her that she needed to get some work experience. The gentleman then chipped in that their mother would be…

  • Family,  Father's Day,  Parenting

    A dad writes

    I sat and watched with apt attention to see what was going to unfold between these two. Oh, it was really nothing sinister, rather more intriguing than the latter. It was the interaction between Daniel and Bibi. You see Daniel is my friend, we have been friends from when we were young men without a care in the world. In that time and at the stage we were at, I would say Daniel had done rather well for himself and as such decided to ‘settle down’ and get married. Bibi, on the other hand, is Daniel’s 4-year-old, the product of the aforementioned marriage. The scene I was watching with great…

  • Father's Day,  Grief,  Parenting

    For you,Daddy

    Some years ago, as the month of June approached, I looked at the theme for the month. I thought about how I would appreciate my dad by talking about the things he did that I took for granted. I wish he was here and seeing my children around me makes me grateful that their dad is around. I wish I said more when my dad was around. I still have something to say. I know I cannot tell you any more on this side of heaven but I wanted to let you know no Father’s Day has passed without thinking again about you. I think the best way is to…

  • Parenting,  Relationship skills,  Resolutions/Change

    Digressive Neighbours

     I looked at the topic for this month and wondered which story will be adequate to share. In short it seemed I had  a lot of stories and have had my share of living with other people. But just as I was about to   write, saying to myself “yes I have had troublesome neighbours”, it oc dawned on  tme that I may perhaps have been a troublesome neighbour 😳. Well. I would rather say , may have been perceived to be a troublesome neighbour. Being a troublesome neighbour is something we may not have set out doing .neither do we look for houses desiring to have troublesome neighbours. But…

  • Family,  Parenting,  Relationship skills

    First Class Love

    I will be the first to confess that it was only until I entered high school that the matter of step-parenting became real in my world. Prior to that, all I knew about step -parents was from the story books I read, with Cinderella story being my most vivid experience. My vocabulary was also limited to step-mothers as these books portrayed and was well tainted to the fact that they were all wicked. I was therefore surprised to learn differently  when I entered the boarding school and made friends with people from different  religious  and ethnic backgrounds. I listened with rapt attention and confusion sometimes as I heard people say…

  • Family,  Parenting,  Relationship skills

    Stepping Up means Stepping Down

    It was a sunny afternoon, the kind when the nearest Fan-milk bicycle man is your friend. I had walked the long distance from our house to the gate near the road, busy seeking one such lifesaving men when I heard the shouts and the noise coming from inside the house. “Leave me alone. I want to go away from this house!” She screamed. “You can go”, her mother replied. I abandoned the dream of my ice cream on a Sunny afternoon and ran back to the house to see what was happening. Through the air vent, I peeped into the house…very reluctant to swap the sunny heat for the flaming…

  • Abuse,  Love,  Parenting

    Left Alone

    It started with her father, of course, when he decided he could love her from afar. He was there physically but never present, he just wouldn’t or couldn’t connect with her. She saw how other fathers were and couldn’t quite understand why hers was different. The same, of course, was received from her mother. Every time it happened, she laid her protective bricks. It happened so often from “friends” and “family” that she had her fortress up in no time. She was left alone in her fortress, able to hurt privately. They tell her she’s cold, unfeeling and hard to approach.  But she doesn’t get why they can’t see that…

  • Family,  Love,  Parenting

    Being a Dad….

    I sat and watched with apt attention to see what was going to unfold between these two. Oh, it was really nothing sinister, rather more intriguing than the latter. It was the interaction between Daniel and Bibi. You see Daniel is my friend, we have been friends from when we were young men without a care in the world. In that time and at the stage we were at, I would say Daniel had done rather well for himself and as such decided to ‘settle down’ and get married. Bibi, on the other hand, is Daniel’s 4-year-old, the product of the aforementioned marriage. The scene I was watching with great…

  • Family,  Parenting

    Not only Dad

    Becoming a Father means you are now part of the Parents Club. We will start this Father’s Day weekend by beginning with the celebration of being a Parent. June 1st  was Parents’ Day 2019.    Dateline: July 2016, Gatwick Airport. Mr. Dee, Q, and I had just landed in London en route Preston for my sister Oris’ Ph.D. graduation. An immigration official engaged us in a brief conversation. “You have Nigerian passports, and your son was born in America; do you mind if I ask how much you paid for the birth?” I gave her the figure. “You are rich! “she exclaimed. My usual response to such statements is “You’d…

  • Family,  Parenting

    Something To Say…

    It’s taken me a long time to get here, but there are some things I need to say….. I just want you to understand the impact you’ve had in my life; I hope you know that I am the woman I am today mainly because of the woman you are. Wow! As I am sat here trying to put my pen to paper (figuratively), I don’t even know where to start. I mean even after years of my commitment to try and understand your approach to this relationship we have, I can honestly say I don’t get it. But I’d be lying if I said I learnt nothing from it.…

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