• Abuse,  By Gracilis,  Relationship skills

    As you like it

    This month is the month where we celebrate the International  Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and decided we would give this month to talking about abuse and healthy relationships. Relationships can either mar or make us and the more intimate the relationship, the higher the stakes. But one of the problems of relationships is that we all come with what we want , may know exactly how we want it and then fall into the delusion that our significant other or friends  will also know and that usually causes trouble.  I will recount an incident that happened sometime ago to illustrate this . So I usually give…

  • Marriage,  Relationship skills,  Single Life

    Journey to the altar

    Diary Excerpt 1:  It really isn’t that easy, although everybody says it is.  This is getting too tricky for my liking.  Nothing could have prepared me for this but the pressure is serious.  Big sis always says don’t make your husband despise your family and don’t make your family despise your husband.  Really tricky!! I assumed that since dad is clergy and a really good marriage counsellor, my case should be pretty straight forward.  I forgot this would be new territory to him and his reactions are so foreign to me.  I don’t know this guy, cos this ain’t my Daddy! Diary Excerpt 2:  I haven’t written in a long while because a part of me doesn’t want…

  • Relationship skills

    keeping at it

    We indeed learn a lot from our children and Unyeme shows from this lesson the need to keep at it,consistently working on our relationships.Enjoy….. I walked past my son’s room and almost stopped breathing. It was SCATTERED 🤦🤦🤦. Being a true African mother 😁, I started talking (shouting). He stood up and started tiding it. I jejely left him. Something brought me back. It was in the same state minus the clothes he removed from the chair when I was shouting. I asked him “so you just left stopped cleaning immediately I left? “”. Yes, you guessed it, he started laughing. Today’s reflection is simple as usual. Aren’t we all…

  • Attitude,  Church,  Relationship skills

    The Hearing Ear

    I love the church.  I love being a part of a church family.  Life in church can be as dramatic as any biological family, but the added undertone of ‘we are all in Christ’ makes us come together in such a unique way… sometimes.  As young children growing up in a home, beginning a statement with “Daddy said…” or “Mummy says…” can usually get you your hearts’ desire.  In the church, phrases like “God said I should let you know…”, “I sense the Spirit saying…”, or “God told me…” are very potent and can make or break situations.  I have nothing against these phrases and I have used them on…

  • Attitude,  Church,  Relationship skills

    Church Drama 3

    I do not think it is possible to attend a church and not have encountered a drama generated as a result of food. In short, even when we read the story about the beginnings of the church, the first thing that caused trouble was food and its distribution. Growing up, I went to a church who took food seriously and any time we did anything, there was always food. This was especially pronounced on harvest Sundays /All manner of food was present in abundance and even to take home. The good thing about the church I attended before my first decade ended was that my mum was the “mother of…

  • By Gracilis,  Church,  Relationship skills

    Church Drama 2

    So today I was wondering which of the stories I should recount I think the best way is to continue chronologically so here we go Growing up in a local assembly church meant growing up in a church family where everyone knew your family.it also meant you knew other people and church family was really part of our lives then .What could be dangerous sometimes is befriending some people who happened to know everyone with their secrets. I remember going to church for all night prayers at about 9pm and having to sleep on the benches (before we bought white plastic chairs) as we waited for 12 midnight to start…

  • Attitude,  Family,  Relationship skills

    I messed up

    Stories about an ‘Ex’ can seem juicy when you walked away with the better deal; but not so much when you are the one who got dumped or dupped. Being an ‘Ex’ anything, still associates you with that thing, implying it is a part of your story, even though it is no longer a part of you.  I guess that is why an Ex-Con will still struggle with employment, or an Ex-addict is still advised to stay away from whatever he/she was addicted to.  Even an Ex-President still enjoys certain presidential benefits.  The status is in the past, but its scent somehow lingers in the present, whether good or bad……

  • By Gracilis,  Relationship skills,  Romance,  Single Life

    When it ends

    O girl, I’m sorry Your;re not my kind of girl … O girl, I’m sorry You’re  not my kind of girl … You’re Not My Kind of Girl  New Edition I am not sure if you remember the chorus of  this hit  “You are Not my kind of girl”  by New Edition  but it was one of those songs that was so good to dance to but not be told. When it comes to the matter of love, no one likes to be rebuffed. And love songs in general are one of the most sang songs because many people can relate. Whether it is about new love, lost love ,…

  • By Gracilis,  Relationship skills,  Single Life

    Honourable Ex-es

    Being in love is one of the greatest things that can happen to anyone and it can either bring out the best or the worst in us. Well we do not usually see the latter unless sometimes the whole love thing goes the wrong way. And there are several reasons why love could go the wrong way and all the declarations of love turn sour. Two years ago during the pandemic. the forced Lockdown was cited as one of the causes for some breakups recently and no matter how much both parties will agree to the necessity of a breakup, one person is bound to be hit more emotionally and…

  • Love,  Relationship skills

    Dramatic Ex

      I was at a shopping mall with my wife. After picking some items, we moved to the checkout queue to pay for them. There, on the queue, a lady directly ahead of us turned around. Our eyes locked. I froze. It was my ex. Immediately, her expression changed. It became less than friendly. In the very awkward moment, I was somehow able to mumble a “hello”. I anticipated a similar response from her. I was disappointed. Instead, she took a brief condescending look at me, and then at my wife. After which, she turned around and moved forward on the queue to replace the person in front of her.…

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