• Family,  sex

    Sex, over-rated?

    BED ROOM, BOARD ROOM , BALL ROOM AND NEWS ROOM, DOES SEX MATTER?  Sex is overrated! Oh yes, you read me right. As someone who makes a livelihood from sex, believe me when I tell you that sex is over-rated. However, sex sells. Are you wondering what the difference is? Let me explain. From the North Pole to the South Pole, from the big bang to the blackhole and from the Garden of Eden to the present, sex sold, sex sells and will continue to sell. Ever wondered why Lucifer posed as a the snake and went to Eve? Why did Lucifer son of the morning not go to Adam?…

  • Marriage,  sex,  Wedding

    All I want…..

    Happy New Month everyone. I cannot believe it is the first day of November and I really hate to think that I do not know where the days went to….  I do. It started from the longest month January where I had several congratulatory messages and then February, the lover’s month although I must confess I did not get a card this Valentine which ironically is also my birth month. Come to think of it, I am not sure I even received one last year or even the year before that. I am not sure if it is something that my husband has put into a box labelled“no longer necessary”…

  • Marriage,  sex

    De-weaponize the Culprit!

    Warning:This article has been written with the full intention of improving your sex life WITHIN marriage. There was a man. He fell in love with a mermaid. He left his brother, he left his business, and they lived happily ever after. But one day, he sat on a rock……… This was the introduction to one of the films I watched on repeat as a teenager.  The film itself was mediocre, but the theme song and this introduction really stuck out to me. Most films and books end with the happily ever after, and we really believe that the heroes and heroines of the movies, wake up every morning smiling into…

  • By Gracilis,  Marriage,  sex

    Centre of Excellence

    Waking up from the bunk bed one morning, I was faced with the arduous task of taking my bath once again in the orientation camp during my service year. There were no bathrooms and as such every morning, the harmattan wind blew with revenge on our naked bodies while the cold water with which we took our baths struggled to take its place as one of the top three causes of our morning misery, losing always to the brutality of the soldiers. All around me in the open space behind our dormitory were bodies of the womenfolk. Different sizes, shapes and colours. Armed with a pail of some sort, we…

  • Abuse,  Friendship,  sex

    Escape

    It was a scorching hot afternoon on a weekday, and our neighbours children came over to play with my brother and I. We’d all been friends far longer than I could remember because our parents worked together. This hot afternoon was like many others, we played several games with each other in our compound. We raced each other, we skipped, we laughed. It was all fun and games until it was nap time. I went to one of our empty guest rooms to sleep; my brother kept playing with the neighbour’s children. I don’t know how long I had been sleeping for before I felt something creeping up my legs.…

  • sex,  Wedding

    ‘Wedding Night’- “she” version

    Today is International Women’s Day and I  do wish every woman a great year ahead as we forge on with this year’s theme of Balance for Better. When   Gracillis asked for my article, I decided to write on something most women would relate to. Right from the time we are little girls, most girls play with dolls and practice home keeping. As we grow older, there is the societal pressure to get married, give birth to children and this can easily become ways some women define themselves. Society usually is kinder to the waiting mother to be than to the bride to be and as such, if there is any…

  • Abuse,  sex,  Single Life

    Blurred lines

    I wonder if you read Sunday’s post about saying No.It was the one titled”Red Light”. I could fully empathize with the writer. It made me remember when  I had to stay over at a friend’s place last year. This friend was not in town and allowed me to stay over for a few days.  As I got into the room, thanking God for a safe journey and unpacking my bags, I heard a neighbouring female moaning in the bliss of sex.  It brought back a painful memory.   I was studying really hard during my university programme and while working on my dissertation, I was chatting with a friend based…

  • Abuse,  By Gracilis,  sex

    The Enemy next door

    While growing up, I was an avid and very fast reader. In my early days in the secondary(high) school, I read all the possible books of Pacesetters series  I could lay hold on(surprisingly you can still get them now). If you are from my  generation, you may remember “Evbu my love”,  “Rich Girl, Poor boy”, “Naira Power”, “Agony in her voice“, “The Cyclist” ,The Betrayer“, ”The BlackTemple”, “Death is a woman”, “The Equatorial Assignment” ,“The Undesirable Element,” and so many  more. I remember reading about the main female character: Bintu in “The Undesirable Element” following the Alhaji and the next thing, she was pregnant. The Pacesetters  African novels were written in such…

  • Abuse,  By Gracilis,  sex,  Timeless Stories

    Red Light

    Just this evening when I decided to do my evening duties of writing, I came across the news that it appears  BBC Radio 2  has decided to ban the songs of one of the music legends of our time because of the allegations of child sex abuse. I am not taking sides and checking the veracity of these accusations but would love to say that sometimes these things happen much more than we realize.  The word “child” could actually be figurative and in a religious context, some adults could be seen as children when compared to their leaders. Unfortunately, people sometimes abuse their spiritual position and just like Folake showed…

  • Abuse,  Counselling,  sex

    Defiled

    I didn’t understand my first encounter with sex. Yes, I didn’t have an inkling what it was because I was about six years old. You heard me, six years old!   My mum would leave us- my two brothers and me in the care of a male neighbour when she goes to the market. He lived in a one bedroom apartment downstairs and we lived in a flat upstairs. My mum went to the market like two or three times a week.   We would all be playing in the room, then he would bring out a coin for my brothers and ask them to go buy sweets. He would…

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