• Marriage,  Relationship skills,  Single Life

    Journey to the altar

    Diary Excerpt 1:  It really isn’t that easy, although everybody says it is.  This is getting too tricky for my liking.  Nothing could have prepared me for this but the pressure is serious.  Big sis always says don’t make your husband despise your family and don’t make your family despise your husband.  Really tricky!! I assumed that since dad is clergy and a really good marriage counsellor, my case should be pretty straight forward.  I forgot this would be new territory to him and his reactions are so foreign to me.  I don’t know this guy, cos this ain’t my Daddy! Diary Excerpt 2:  I haven’t written in a long while because a part of me doesn’t want…

  • By Gracilis,  Pregnancy,  sex,  Single Life

    Pregnancy -induced marriages

     Not all marriages begin with “Will you marry me ?”. Some of them begin with “I don carry belle” (“I don carry belle” means I have an unplanned pregnancy)-Facebook Post by Godwin Tom-Lawyer (things that make you say chai )   Sometime ago, my elder brother (Godwin) put up the above post on Facebook (seriously almost all his posts are interesting and when I read it, it initially brought laughter. However, after the laughter, I thought about all the people that I have seen in the latter predicament who sadly had taken that path to save face immediately but actually had found themselves in terrible conditions later on in the long run. While we…

  • Single Life,  Wedding

    I am your husband

    What a comment! I smile thinking about the few guys who introduced themselves to me in this way during my single days. It was enough for me to walk away laughing.  However, this little statement has had a different effect on me since I said ‘I DO’.Marriage is good – it really is, and I’ll defend and support getting married to the right person any day and anytime. However, God in His infinite wisdom has decided that we would not come to each other as perfect beings, but work together to achieve perfection in Him. The process is not a joke.   Three weeks after I got married my husband…

  • Romance,  Single Life

    Enough light

    There comes a time in the life of most women, when you tell yourself ‘This is it. I choose him’or ‘I accept him’, depending on how many proposals you get.  I wondered for many years how I would know the right choice to make. How do I choose one above all else, who is not Jesus?  People had asked me in the past, ‘What will he do, to prove he is ‘the one’?”  I really didn’t know the answer to that question and I told God not to tell me, but to show me, when the time was right. A friend gave me a message by a wonderful woman called…

  • By Gracilis,  Friendship,  Marriage,  sex,  Single Life

    Bedroom Friends

    Most single people think that most married people are having sex all the time. But a realistic view into the bedrooms of so many married couples, we would discover the contrary. Apart from the sad reality of those facing the “Dead Bedroom Syndrome” where sex is no more an agenda in their marriage (a painful extreme), a healthy dose of married people do a lot more than sex in the bedroom. A lot of their time is spent talking and hopefully communicating and building on the friendship they cultivated that eventually led to the altar. But one of the most frequent complaints I hear from some ladies is the fact…

  • By Gracilis,  Relationship skills,  Romance,  Single Life

    When it ends

    O girl, I’m sorry Your;re not my kind of girl … O girl, I’m sorry You’re  not my kind of girl … You’re Not My Kind of Girl  New Edition I am not sure if you remember the chorus of  this hit  “You are Not my kind of girl”  by New Edition  but it was one of those songs that was so good to dance to but not be told. When it comes to the matter of love, no one likes to be rebuffed. And love songs in general are one of the most sang songs because many people can relate. Whether it is about new love, lost love ,…

  • By Gracilis,  Relationship skills,  Single Life

    Honourable Ex-es

    Being in love is one of the greatest things that can happen to anyone and it can either bring out the best or the worst in us. Well we do not usually see the latter unless sometimes the whole love thing goes the wrong way. And there are several reasons why love could go the wrong way and all the declarations of love turn sour. Two years ago during the pandemic. the forced Lockdown was cited as one of the causes for some breakups recently and no matter how much both parties will agree to the necessity of a breakup, one person is bound to be hit more emotionally and…

  • Attitude,  By Gracillis,  Single Life,  Timeless Stories

    “The Perfect Picture” reloaded

    One of the signs of a good book is the ability to enjoy it over and over again .  Some  of our artiles have been voted as most read and mostloved and some readers have suggested we put those  articles in a categor  “Timeless stories” and periodically publish them again. The article below is one of them which I believe is great for us to reread especially as  we are  almost 2 weeks away fro m Christmas .Enjoy I recently started a new job and am still in the process of knowing everybody. It is almost two weeks now but I still seem to be meeting new people daily. Just…

  • Racism & Rape,  sex,  Single Life

    Sexual Entitlement

    I wonder if you read the posts from the past two Fridays talking about sexual assault and attempted rape. Interestingly enough, none of the perpetrators were friends of the ladies and I sometimes wonder how perpetrators get to that sense of entitlement. I could fully empathize with the writers and glad that Gracilis had a narrow escape . It made me remember when  I had to stay over at a friend’s place last year. This friend was not in town and allowed me to stay over for a few days.  As I got into the room, thanking God for a safe journey and unpacking my bags, I heard a neighbouring…

  • By Gracilis,  Racism & Rape,  Single Life

    Narrow Escape

    I lived on campus . It was my first year as an undergraduate and my elder ones insisted that staying on campus was what every first year student should do . It would help me get a hang of what was really going on .  I am not sure if I really knew what was really going on but I saw things . After two years  of living on campus, I moved to an off-campus accommodation . It was a  little village that was fortunate to be close to the university . The streets hardly had any names and student houses were best identified by names. Some names were popular…

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