• Marriage,  Single Life,  Unfaithfulness

    So,I confessed…

    Confessions of infidelity come in different forms and types. Social media has also made some confessions that were meant to be private to become public. Although one would expect   that before a confession goes public, the individuals involved would have known already. But there are circumstances where before the culprit has the chance to make a confession, the events have been made public. This of course makes the confession or reconciliation process to be more arduous. But no matter how the confession comes out, at one point or the other, we must come to deal with the aftermaths of a Confession. It  is important  to respond to a confession appropriately…

  • By Gracilis,  Marriage,  Single Life,  Unfaithfulness

    Making the Confession

    Her husband had taken his bath. She watched him dress up and when he attempted to leave, she reminded him that their Pastor had promised to visit He acknowledged her but promised to be back as soon as possible. He had barely left the house when the doorbell rang. She welcomed their Pastor and began profusely apologizing for her husband’s absence but he interrupted her by saying she was actually the one he wanted to see. Her Pastor took his seat and then began to talk. She had had a few doubts about her husband but did not expect this was how she would be informed about a stepchild. She…

  • By Gracilis,  Family,  Unfaithfulness

    Cheating does Sting

    Just today, I saw a flyer for a programmer on “how to stay with a cheating man:”. I am not sure what the attendance would be, especially as it is a paid event and I doubt if society would tolerate the female version “how to stay with a cheating woman:”.   I dare say that a cheating man seems to be accepted norm in our society but that in itself   does not ease the pain that cheating brings. No one can sincerely say they did not or do not have any qualms about their partner cheating and that is because the nature of true love in itself is jealousy and…

  • Counselling,  Unfaithfulness

    I wish someone told me

    Her hair.  That was the first thing I noticed. Beautifully twisted locks – smaller than the usual size.  She must have had those kinky twists done recently. They were held together with a simple black hair ruffle at the nape of her neck, leaving her face exposed, except for her eyes, which were slightly shielded by her petite glasses.  Her skin was fair; fairer than the average African, slightly fairer than mine.  She was wearing a blue khaki dress which stopped just above her knees, giving ample view to her recently shaven legs. Simple white trainers finished the look.  She looked good.  Probably in her mid-twenties I would say –…

  • Betrayal,  Unfaithfulness

    Been there ,too

    I come from a broken home with both parents remarried. I was the only child between them. I was very lonely growing up because my siblings from both my parents were my half brothers and sisters and I was always seen and treated as the outside so I never really belonged anywhere. I had vowed even before I met Christ that no child of mine would experience the kind of life I had. Being a Christian helped to reinforce my decision. I would marry a God-fearing woman who loved God and will honor our marriage. A nagging voice at the back of my mind kept  whispering  to me that divorce…

  • Friendship,  Unfaithfulness,  WILL

    The Knowing

    There comes a time in life when you feel stagnant in your position. This may be in your job, your education, your business, even your role in your family at times! It’s actually scary when you have to ask yourself  “What have I learnt lately?’ Lately, I’ve been thinking about my relationships. I don’t know why but I’ve been feeling a bit irrelevant in my relationships with my friends. Now, I have only a select few I call my friends, and I’ve been feeling rather inactive towards them. I’ve just been in a weird place where it’s like my friends are always “giving” to me and all I do is…

  • Attitude,  Betrayal,  Unfaithfulness

    Another Woman?Fight the right battle! 2

    Bibiana continues her story here. Read the post below which is the start. ……It wasn’t like there were no ‘toasters’ but none felt right.  There was also to be a period of prayer before taking the plunge because I had established early on that I was not interested in playing field or trying my luck.  It’s got to be marriage minus the extended courtship. God is amazing, He gave me a  husband who believes in family and had had some experiences in his past which led him to believe the greatest thing a man can do is to jealously guard his family.  Having anyone on the side to him is…

  • Attitude,  Betrayal,  Unfaithfulness

    Another woman?Fight the right battle!

    I have been reading in the papers about Amir Khan’s wife’s public fall out with his family.  I hope all ends well for them; they all seem to be greatly pained by events however, it will take the grace of God to recover from all that and be better than before relationally. If she was OK with her mother in law, the MIL could have ensured her hubby and kids tow the line – the powerful other woman, I tell you.  It is hard to publicly humiliate another woman and her family like that.  Anyway…. I started praying for ‘my future partner’ since I was about 12 years old.  I am…

  • Marriage,  Unfaithfulness

    I call her ‘Silver’

    The idea that there may be another significant woman in a husband’s life can be very threatening to a wife.  We battle enough with mothers-in-law and special Aunties and even some godmothers; so to include the added burden of a devious other somebody is a pretty big deal. I prayed concerning this area before I got into marriage as I know that I lack the energy to fight for any man.  Why should I have to? I told God I wanted what was mine and not another person’s property.  God gave me ‘my own man’, but from the first month of our marriage, I had competition.  Silver had known my…

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