Family,  Pregnancy

Conceived and Concealed

Right from my childhood days, I had always envisaged being a mother. From all the baby dolls I had received as a child to taking care of my younger siblings and then taking care of some children of friends who married much earlier,I felt I had had enough practice and would excel at the real deal. Well, the problem with the real deal was marriage  was like a mirage for so many years and it took a while before I eventually got married.

I was not overly worried about not having a baby immediately after I got married because I had had a dream where I was pregnant with twins. But as the  days became weeks which became months ,each witnessing a menstrual cycle,my anxiety levels increased.

One day I woke up and I was 40, married and childless. It was not a position I  thought I would ever be in.

As far as I knew, this could not be punishment for waywardness. I married my husband as a virgin(see my story on Wedding Night -“she “version). and was trusting that a child was part of the package.

So I prayed and asked God for a 40th birthday present- my own baby. I missed my period and excitedly went for a test and it was positive, was quite happy. Some days later (Aunty Flow-the monthly visitor) showed up. I got confused and then I went for another test and it came out negative. I decided to do a scan. The scan results showed I had an ovarian cyst in one of my ovaries. I did the scan in June, my birth month; this was definitely not the birthday gift I envisaged. I started to read and ask questions about ovarian cysts, got a lot of conflicting answers. I decided later to just put my trust in God.

The month of August arrived and again  I missed my period but I didn’t bat an eyelid, I consoled myself with the fact that if truly I was pregnant, symptoms would show up. That August, I felt constipated and bloated for about 3 days and after that nothing.  The following month of September: no period, no symptoms, no nothing. Now I was convinced it was the cyst that had made my period cease.

In October, I got a job in another state and we (B and I) were like how can we live apart when trying for a baby. I said God specialises in doing hard things, His name will be glorified more if it happens when we live hundreds of miles apart. November still no period, I decided to lose weight I started drinking warm lemon water every day for a week on an empty stomach and wouldn’t eat till noon. I felt very ill one morning after taking it and saw a doctor who advised that I stop drinking the lemon water but instead take fruits and vegetables. I went into the fruit and vegetable eating with a passion and for months feasted on it. MeanwhileI had reasons to be travelling home (where my husband, B was) once a month home, five to six hours on the road with all the bumps and pot/car holes on the way. I remember each time I was on the road, I would tell myself when I get pregnant I won’t travel because I don’t want to risk anything. I had lost a 10-weeks pregnancy some months immediately after marriage so I wasn’t going to take any chances.

I was convinced I was not pregnant because there were no symptoms.Sometimes I would stand naked by the mirror and take a very deep breath till my tummy becomes really flat then proceed to press, pull and tug hard at my tummy thinking if I were pregnant all this won’t be possible. My tummy did not increase in size at all. I was never nauseated, talk less of vomiting. Every day I was on the net researching into what could be WRONG with me when my tummy started rumbling and the more I searched, the more nothing looked like what was wrong with me. My tummy will just rumble especially in the evening while lying down and relaxing after work.

On December 31st during the Cross over service in my church,  I dozed off for a second (or was it a trance, lol) and I saw myself going to the children’s church to pick my child. I was so happy and sure that the coming year will see me become a mother. I told B (my husband) and our prayers and praise that night was with so much gusto.

Fast forward February

I shared my struggles with the cyst with a pastor friend. He asked if I had done another scan and he encouraged me to have another scan done. I was not enthusiastic and if truth be told; I was scared because I thought the cyst would have increased in size. When I went for the scan, I met the same technician who had earlier told me I had a cyst. During the scan session, he was taking so long and I began to encourage myself in the Lord. He then asked me who told me I had s cyst, (look at who he is asking!) When I told him, he was a bit sceptical and asked for the results which I had looked for unsuccessfully earlier that morning before turning up for the appointment. What other evil had happened this time Lord, I thought to myself.

After another long silence, he said I hope you know you are pregnant. I was like, WHAT?

Totally unbelievable so I asked how far gone I was, he said 27 weeks.No way! this shocked me more than being pregnant, my God and Lord I was 7 months pregnant and my tummy was just like I overfed.  I was expecting to hear 10 or 12 weeks because I was calculating it must have happened over the Christmas holidays. It was his turn to look dumbfounded as he asked, “Are you saying you didn’t know?” After replying in the negative, he saidyou must be very strong”. ME STRONG? Where? When? I knew it was just God in action.  When I told B that in 2 months’ time he was going to be a father, he was so shocked, the first thing he said was we haven’t bought anything for the baby. After we found out it was then my tummy started coming out, I started to really show at about 29/30 weeks.  People started asking questions,” was she not kicking”. I never felt kicked at all I heard was rumbling sounds.  All my clothes fitted. I didn’t experience any symptoms apart from missing my period.

If I had known I was pregnant, I would never have taken the job in another state which happened to be a boost to my career. I would never be on the road travelling; I would never have witnessed the final burial rites of a colleague (washing of the corpse, he was a Muslim), all the chores I did never, I would have been guiding the foetus with everything but God proved to me He is more than able to do much more than I could ever dream or imagine

No ante natal, all through the 27 weeks I kept anointing my tummy because I thought it was the cyst ceasing my period and after the December 31st Cross over Service, I was taking the communion every day at home. I started ante natal at 31 weeks because I had to go back to tidy up at work. I had her at 40 weeks so I was only pregnant for 13 weeks practically!

B named her Iyanuoluwa (God’s wonder), Oreofe (God’s free gift-born 5-5-15) and Inioluwa (God’s property) because for 27 weeks, she was conceived and concealed.

Till next time, the B Trilogy continues.

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