As the year gradually draws to a close and the New Year comes to light, it is natural, and even wise, to take a ‘time-out’ and just reflect on what has been. After reading last week’s article on gratitude, I have to say that although it is cliché to ask people to be grateful, it is also necessary as one tends to dwell on the things yet to be, as opposed to what grace has brought us through.
When I began the year 2022, I knew there would be highs and lows. I knew there would be some awesome events and some not so cool ones as well; but I also expected some things to remain the same – you know, just be constant so that all the other variables still make sense. Maybe it was naïve of me to expect that from anything or anyone (apart from the Almighty obviously), but that was just my expectation.
I have a friend whom I have held dear for many, many years. We have done ‘life’ together. I was there for her and she was there for me. I am blessed with many great friends but she was physically close by as we lived a few minutes away from each other. We planned our shopping together, went to the Cinema together, exchanged meals when we were tired of cooking, had our children on playdates… you get the gist. We’ve been good friends for over 15yrs and as far as I was concerned, she was a constant, one of my BFFs. Ha! Best Friend Forever. I wonder who came up with that phrase. At the start of the year, we were friends; but right now… there is silence.
I know a few other people who had their constants shaken, people who lost a spouse suddenly, or lost a parent who was way too young. People having a different kind of Christmas this year because they have to continue forever without that constant. One friend described it as having an unseen handicap because you look fine on the outside, but the pain is so deep on the inside – yet you have to function, and be brave and be ‘okay’ when people ask… You have to continue forever.
Yes, when you find yourself in this position, it’s important to take stock of the things and loved ones we still have and be grateful. Make new memories and lean on the One who truly never leaves us. I’m not saying you can’t miss the person, or the job you thought you’d have for the next 10years, or the body you had before the accident, or your intellect before the brain injury, the list goes on… but I am saying that there is a silver lining and you have lived to see the light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how small it may seem now.
My friend didn’t die. She just walked out of my life very calmly and I don’t know where she is. At first, I panicked wondering if she was okay as it was abnormal for us not to speak in 3 days. I called her family and some friends we had in common, and then I realised she was fine, she just didn’t want to be in my life anymore. It’s been over 3months and I’m still confused. I could have sworn she was a constant, a sister for life. I wonder what I did or what I could have done differently…
I’m sorry if I sound pathetic as I know there are more important things in life, but she was my friend… at least I thought so. She has made me question my other constants and question myself really, wondering if my sense of judgement is intact, etc. I am definitely doing a lot of reflecting over the next few days.
I don’t know what constants in your life were challenged this year, but as long as we are still alive and kicking, we should be grateful; because there is still hope for a better tomorrow. So ‘do life’ with those who stayed by your side, and celebrate the things you still have, and plan to continue forever, come what may. The New Year is around the corner – be determined to make it the best year yet! We care about all relationships here at Dishusbandmata – even the ones that don’t always make sense, lol.
From our hearts to yours, we wish you a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
Celebrating True Friendship