For some of us who may not now , Gracilis is a name I acquired from the medical school. So besides writing here, I actually have a part time medical job now with patients. In short, I was at work today and had a good time with my patients. The last person I saw told me she was quite scared of meeting the dentist and I assured her, I would only be looking and doing nothing. Interestingly she told me she is a counsellor so at the end of my consultation,, she was very relaxed and I told her she would probably use the experience as an example for her own clients in overcoming her fears.
What did I do? I looked for common ground and listened as I tried to make a conversation about her life till I got her laughing and totally at ease. By the time we were done I advised her I would be discussing the case with the big boss and then she became apprehensive again.
I had to reassure her that everyone I had seen today had been seen by the big boss and she became relaxed again. Finally, when we were done, we exchanged pleasantries as she left.
She did have some work to be done and some of her issues had deteriorated because she had not been in regularly, kept way by her fear till she finally summoned the courage to come.
When she left and I started writing down notes, I took a note of her children’s names so that the next time she attends, I would have something very personal about her to help the connection .
This evening, I thought about the so many times when we have to face things, we are afraid of in the journey of love. Being in love with someone does not mean we will always be pleased with what they do at all times. There would be times when we would have to have hard conversations in order to move forward in our relationships and we should not shy away from doing so. When those times come, lets try to find common ground and keep all parties at ease , remembering most importantly that you and your partner are a team .
On a good day I see two types of patients . There are some who only turn up when there is trouble while some others come regularly because it is the right thing to do.
And we sometimes adopt the former approach in our relationships This lady had more problems because she had not been attending for regular check -ups. The problem is if we only talk when there is trouble , then we would just be doing damage control but if we maintain the kind of culture as we should do when we go for regular check ups ,our relationships would thrive better .
For a long time, we have been advocating having a date night with our significant other where the focus is just the two of you and in this month of love, let us adopt the culture. It will go a long way in keeping our love, fresh , free from undealt issues and unnecessary malice . And remember it does not have to be expensive. It can even be at home , just the two of you .
I hope you pick a date this week and keep it.It is all about keeping our relationship healthy and our love fresh and on fire .