When Gary Chapman wrote his book ‘The Five Love Languages’ several years ago, it caused a lot of sensation, and brought a new vibrancy to several relationships. Fast forward down the years, out of that book has grown several other ways of looking at the love language up to looking at the love language for children and the love language in work places. I for one, has seen the love language can work in any situation.
I have a nephew who like his cousins is usually urged at the end of his conversation with me to say “I love you”. I usually expect these reminders whenever I speak to my nephews and niece. So I was surprised when recently while speaking to this nephew, spontaneously , he said “I love you auntie “. Did I say spontaneously? Well no, he said so after his mum told him that the new toys he just received were gifts from me.
It was only when I dropped the phone that I realized that because I spoke his love language and gave him a toy which he cherished and saw as a sign of love, he was able to reciprocate and without prompting say “I love you”.
One of the banes of our adult relationships is that most times we are loving people the way we want to be loved and if it is not their love language, they do not feel loved.
For me, having taken the Love Language test over and over again, I can say receiving gifts is my primary love language, I find myself giving gifts to people and if you are my friend and have not have never received a gift from me( yet), I can confidently say that friendship should be re-examined ….
But really, my nephew brought home the lesson from the book I have read over a decade ago; when people feel loved they respond
So what about you? Do you know your love language or that of your significant other , and what of the love language of your children ?They are also people too and although they are children now , they will grow up tomorrow and our relationship with them matters, hence we should relate to them in a way that makes them feel loved.
If you have never heard of the book or taken the test, here is a link:
For the book: http://youth-portal.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/the-5-love-languages-the-secret-to-love-that-lasts.pdf
For the book for children :http://ebookscart.com/5-love-languages-children-pdfepub-download/
For the test: https://www.mindful-company.com/blogs/notebook/the-5-love-languages-quiz
And I do hope what my little nephew has taught us will cause us all to reconsider the need to know the love languages of the people we love.