Attitude,  By Gracilis,  Relationship skills

Making Enemies

I like to read and remain forever grateful to the person who introduced me to Amazon over 15 years ago . It became my haven. I searched for previous books I had read loaned and bought most of them. The more I bought books, the more I got other books recommended to me based on my previous purchase .In short thse were usually recommended and sent as “Since you like book A , you might like Book B .   I  have had so many recommendations but up to date ,I have not received any suggestions on a book of how to make enemies. I doubt if you have also . But sometimes I feel that a book or related books with that title can be recommended based on behaviour .

A few weeks ago, someone  I know got married recently and updated her status on social media. As expected, there was a stream of congratulatory messages . She later uploaded wedding pictures pf herself only. She was looking radiant and beautiful like every other bride .lthough the congratulationscontinued, someone pointed out the obvious “where was her husband?” The bride promptly replied that she didn’t upload these as he wasn’t smiling in any of them.

This brought a further challenging question, “ does he not smile at all?. This was seconded by another person . Eventually , the bride put up pictures of herself and her husband .

Then someone commented “you look lovely but your hubby looks much older than you” . Really, we could all do with minding our business.

I must say that I felt like giving the bride a hi-five for her reply, “yes he is but he loves me “. To which another person commented “well, that’s all that matters but then added “how long have you known him before marrying him?”.

I read the unfolding drama and wondered if I have sometimes spoken with such insensitivity and prayed a prayer for help to always mind my business.

What is it that makes us feel we have a right to have and then air our opinions on people’s lives, especially on social media?

Bringing down a friend’s win and saying what we think all the time, especially when we are not asked is an indicator of low emotional intelligence and a sure way to lose friends. It might just be best to say a few words of congratulations rather than airing all what we think on social media sometimes. .

But it is not only comments that can get us into trouble, Sometimes a video repost or forwarded messages that may have been appropriate in one setting and not in another. I confess that sometimes I have had my attention drawn to a picture caption or video I had put up and after listening to the person, I had edited and deleted as necessary.

We all need to be more emotionally aware and increase our emotional intelligence ..It may not be our original intention but  insensitive comments or some forwarded videos/messages  helps us  effortlessly make enemies.


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