My name is Ogheneyoma and I have sent this story to Dishusbandmata. I hope it helps someone.
In my second year in the university, I started dating a guy; he was my first boyfriend so I was taking baby steps with him while I tried to figure out the dating world. We made out a couple of times but no heavy stuff because I was 19 years and wasn’t ready to go all the way. In my third year we broke up because I got saved.
He was of the opinion my getting saved didn’t change anything but for me it changed everything; I didn’t even want the occasional kisses which I knew it was a matter of time before it became an issue for us. I then told myself I will only date guys who were on the same frequency with me. That was the end of my dating stint in school.
After the compulsory one year National Youth Service Corps, being the first child and daughter, my parents were beginning to drop hints about bringing home a suitor. I was also looking forward to meeting prince charming and living happily ever after. I decided to move to a bigger city (Lagos) with a better chance of getting a job because my current city didn’t pose many options. I had also lived there since I was born, so I was craving for a change. More so the headquarters of my church was in Lagos and that was like an icing on the cake. My parents fought the idea, my dad thought I will have a better chance of marrying someone from my tribe back home than in Lagos but I was an adult, it was time to fly the coop.
(I got to Lagos and the job search began, with time I was able to get one as a marketing officer and was there for a while.
As time went on, I began to experience this great hunger for the things of God; I just wanted to serve Him. So I decided the next thing was to attend a bible school, my church has this bible school which offered short courses, I registered for one of the short courses.
The Bible School was going well; I was enjoying all my courses, learning more about my faith.
One day during recess in the cafeteria, I noticed a group of students huddled together, it wasn’t an uncommon sight but what caught my attention was that it wasn’t a discussion going on; it was actually one person doing all the talking while others listened with rapt attention. I also decided to listen and hear what he had to say that made him the only person talking in the group.
What he was saying was about the call of God on his life and he made sense. He spoke like one who knew what he was saying. He must have noticed I was listening because when the recess was over, he asked his friends to run along and he came over to say hi, he asked for my class and requested I wait for him in my class when classes end. I waited and he came over almost immediately.
That was my introduction to Afamefulam. It wasn’t love at first sight but with time as we got closer, I fell in love with a man who loved God crazily. This was exactly the kind of man I had prayed for, a man who was ready to go all the way with our maker. I never imagined I will love a man of the cloth but here I was head over heels.
He had the call of God on his life; he knew what God wanted him to do. He was already gearing up to a life of full time ministry. I had to change my mindset fast and began to see myself as a fellow labourer in the vineyard. He proposed almost a year after we met and I gladly said yes. Yippee! I had my own man, MOG (man of God) at that.
My only worry was my parents, I knew we would face a lot of obstacles from them; the number one obstacle was that he wasn’t a graduate and I knew my father would flip. The second reason being he was of a different tribe. Number three, he is a Pastor, number four he had nothing in his favor but I was sure our true love will prevail. He started a fellowship in his neighborhood. Oh, how I prayed along with him for the seed that was about to be planted. We were having weekly vigils which I took seriously like my life depended on it lol, it actually did. The fellowship started growing because testimonies were pouring in from members who in turn invited others. He was squatting with an uncle and his family in a one room apartment in the poorest area of Lagos, I gave him 90% of my monthly salary to get a room for himself so that he can have some privacy to pray and counsel.
I couldn’t keep the good news of my engagement away from my parents anymore. Just as I expected my parents went ballistic, in an unfortunate twist my mother knew his father as an officer of the law who wasn’t upholding the law. For all the above reasons I stated and more, my parents vehemently refused, they didn’t even want to hear his name.
Years prior to this time, my dad held a political post howbeit it was in a caretaker’s position so he courted a number of people in power. It happened that one of the ministers from my side of the country saw me and hinted to my father his son is looking for a wife. They connected us but the guy obviously wasn’t interested, he was looking for a slay queen and he wasn’t my spec either because he lacked the spirituality I desire in my man. My daddy thought it was because of my fiancée I didn’t show interest in the other guy. The other guy ticked all his boxes, he was a minister’s son; according to him he doesn’t want to be an in law to a policeman (laughs). The minister’s son is a graduate, from my tribe; he had a proper job, able to provide for his home etc.
I was very sad when I left my parents’ home. I went over to my fiancée back in Lagos and I told him everything my parents said which with the benefits of hindsight I have now, I shouldn’t have because it completely deflated his morale. We promised each other we will fight it together, nothing was changed and we will keep praying and trying to change their minds.
Time came for him to start the church; the church was to be in a different state to the one we met so he travelled down to prepare the ground. He came back after three months and broke up with me. I was devastated, couldn’t we fight this together? I thought it was just a temporal setback that if my parents see how much we loved each other they will relent but I had to let go. He was actually my first love.
More than twenty years later, he has metamorphosed into a big time popular pastor, well known and doing exploits for the kingdom. I took pictures from the internet and showed my mum, the same uneducated man now cavorts with the likes of the governor of the state where the church is residing and with who is who in his state and even beyond the country. She said she didn’t know he will turn out well. He is now married with three kids. What about me you would ask? Let’s just say am still in God’s waiting room.
But perhaps I would have gone out for the waiting room if my parents were not just judging things by what they were seeing at the moment. They did not see what my love eyes could see over two decades ago .
I must admit that I also realized that there were some errors on my part. There were somethings my parents said that I should never have translated to my fiancée then . Telling him everything my parents said must have deflated his ego and even if we had continued, scarred his relationship with them. Interestingly, I still see a lot of people do it these days under the pretext of we tell each other everything . I did that and it contributed greatly to my lost love.