Betrayal,  Marriage,  sex

Pornography-a bedroom enemy

Almost all of us will agree that being cheated upon is not a pleasant experience and as such, we would find no qualms in labelling the offender. Being the source of betrayal, we treat them as enemies, whether or not we have seen them.
Curiosity usually gets the best of us and most times, we want to know who the offender is.

Sometimes for ladies, we might want to see the “thing” so as to know how we compare to her.

What is it about her that ticks the box?

Is she prettier, more richly endowed or is she one with a size 6-8 figure?

For men, they would probably think it has to do with money or the prowess in the other room.

The explanation of a possible reason has a way of easing the pain of betrayal.
But what do you do when your competitor is someone you probably will never meet, someone who is doing her/his job and performing an act that is scripted and you are being compared to her /him.

Your competitor however  is behind the screen and is miserably a “porn star”

Chances are that you can never compare or truly compete and any such attempts to do so would only put more strain on your relationship, leading to unnecessary dissatisfaction.

With porn watching,it is inevitable that we will be comparing our partners with  someone who is not real and they will always fall short. In short, almost all the research papers I read cited it as one of the causes of relationship dissatisfaction and inability to achieve arousal with one’s physical partner.

The real issue is no physical partner can actually do what is depicted in these films, and it is important for us to know that these are scripts being acted with several cuts, breaks but eventually edited to play as one single act.

One of the complaints I get from ladies is the unrealistic expectations from their husbands who consume pornography

I even read about a lady who said she had to take Ibuprofen after having anal sex as the ladies she had watched in pornographic films seemed to have enjoyed it.

Well, that’s what happens when the rubber meets the road.

Watching pornography and being in a fantasy world with people we never meet is damaging to our relationships with our partners.
Once we open the door to pornography, we can be rest assured that a satisfying sex life with our partners is a grim possibility.
I am yet to know of anyone who feels that pornography has helped their home

Recently I did a series on Pornography and had to read through several materials.
I was stunned to know about the content of most pornographic videos and how watching pornography might be educating us wrongly concerning sex and women .

Studies have shown that this can lead to objectification of women.

A friend of mine once told me how disrespected she felt when a guy asking her out informed her that he watches pornography and even has it on his phone.

He went on to say he could send it to her if she wanted.

For want of space, I would not like to go into any sordid details but want to charge us that we can do something about what goes on in our bedroom by shutting the door to wade off intruders

Pornography if allowed into our home robs us of the joy of two becoming one.

But besides all the detrimental effects to others, watching pornography has a way of making us feel ashamed and guilty and so many people end up living in a secrecy that is killing them.

Watching Pornography is also addictive, working on our brains in the same areas affected when addictions are being made. This makes the individual desire more, making one want more and more hard-core content to get the stimulation required.

Last week, we said that the bedroom should be a place for friends but let me go further to say it should also be a place where enemies are not allowed, even when these enemies are virtual.

Keep Pornography out of your bedroom and there is help for anyone who is struggling with ending a habit of watching pornography
You can also watch discussions on Domestic abuse &Pornography on ourDomestic abuse &Pornography (Facebook  or on Instagram Live (Domestic abuse &Pornogtaphy) 

 

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