Resolutions/Change

Resolutions

I think this is a word we try to avoid these days as the saying ‘promises are made to be broken’ seems to taunt the very essence of resolution making.  I mean, if you can’t keep a promise you make to yourself then why bother at all?  This is the season when church folk start to look out for the ‘Word for the new year’, both from their home churches and any other places of worship they affiliate with.  We want to get the word and run with it.  Some churches have already released the ‘catchphrase’ for the year 2018, and others will do so in the coming weeks, but how do we run with the word all through the year, and not break the promises we really want to make to ourselves?

Ok so here is the hot gist that inspired this article.  It’s Christmas time and I had been looking forward to my husband coming home for the holidays. We all look forward to Christmas platters, but if you are the one who has to do all the cooking – it’s not always a fun job.  Anyway, being the organised person that I am, I had mentally calculated when I would start my cooking so that I don’t spend the 23rd and 24th stuck in the kitchen.  Hubby came home a few days earlier than he initially said, and while I was excited to see him, his coming was not in my plan and I immediately told him not to complain.  I had planned to have the house cleaned from top to bottom and have some nice fish fried to welcome him, but his timing had prevented that kind of welcome.  Monday morning was my scheduled day to tackle the fish.  I love eating fish, but the process of scaling and cleaning is one that I have to psych myself up to do. He laughed and said it was cool.  We had a great weekend and on Sunday night I brought the fish out of the freezer so that I would have no choice but to deal with it first thing in the morning.

I started stirring at about 5am and hubby was half awake as well, in cuddle mode.  Before I new it, it was 7am. I jumped out of bed and went to the kitchen to deal with the fish.  I was happy with my work after an hour, and I was inspired to tackle the deep fryer, another job I had been avoiding.  It was about 10am when I heard my husband moving about in the room.  I went upstairs (feeling quite happy with myself) to find him showered and almost dressed.  “where are you going?” I asked. “Out” was the reply I got.  My happy mood just evaporated. I walked out of the room as I could feel myself getting angry.  I couldn’t understand where the sharp tone had come from and what I had done to deserve that.  I went back to the kitchen and began to fry this fish. Hubby went out and I continued to tidy up and attend to the children. By noontime I was quite tired and decided to take a break in front of the tele.  My husband was back by then and came to look at me twice asking why I was lying down.  I told him I needed to rest.  We were not being very friendly at this point.

I later went out to do some shopping and as I was driving about and thinking about the whole thing, I was getting angrier! Why did he have to ruin a good morning? What did I possibly do to deserve that sort of treatment today? I was beginning to vibrate with anger and a picture of the fight we would have when I got back home started to take shape.  I had to shout at myself while driving “babe calm down! It’s the first day of his holiday and you already want to tear the roof”.  I then started to pray asking the Holy Spirit to please calm my nerves.  I felt very hurt but the reaction I was planning would not help matters in anyway.  When I got home, I went into our bedroom to lie down and I called a trusted friend.  I’m not in the habit of reporting my husband, but when something invokes a certain level of reaction in me, I’ve learnt to speak to someone I can trust who is cool-headed and mature enough to advise me correctly. My friends advised me to relax and try talking to hubby about the incident when the mood was right.

I later came downstairs.  He had eaten out of the fish and he was happy.  I prepared the evening meal, washed the dishes, cleaned up after the children and put them to bed after attending to their food and bath times.  I was exhausted!!! 
I then forced myself to sit through a boring movie with hubby just to patch things up.  We were in a much better place now.  We get upstairs and I am two seconds away from snoring when he says, “Why did you run away from me this morning?” I am confused.  “Why was the fish so important that you left me hanging?” Father in heaven! Was that what all the nonsense of the day was about?!!!!!!!!!

By the time I had explained all my actions and the fact that I did not run away from him, but that my running to deal with fish was for him; plus, if he didn’t start anything between 5am and 7am, why should I assume he was in the mood for more when I had told him the day before that I needed to wake up early to tackle kitchen duty?  I apologised, (he didn’t do the same sadly) and we made up, but I was so shocked at how terrible things could have gone, just because of a misconception.

So what does this have to do with resolutions?  I have made up my mind that my marriage will work.  I decided on this matter before I met my husband.  I had also been praying that while he is around for the holidays, things would be great.  Just because you make a promise to yourself which is in-line with God’s word, it doesn’t mean that there won’t be a challenge.  You may resolve to read a book every month next year, which is a really good thing to do, but expect the challenge that the devil will bring, because as long as what you have proposed to do is good, you are automatically on his hit list.  And when the challenge comes, try really hard to see it as just a challenge – a stepping stone to the higher heights you are aiming for.  So as soon as you get your personal and congregation Word, Catchphrase, and bible verse for the year 2018, run with it.  Make your realistic resolutions and soak them in the Word of God. Be prepared for challenges and set your face like flint towards victory.  2018 is going to be a really great year, so let’s GO!!!!!!!!
To His Glory,

Lily

Dishusbandmata…….passionate about relationships
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