Relationship skills

Right Response

It was my birthday. I had a party  and several friends were invited. It was not that I had many friends but they all tried to turn up. Most of them managed to address birthday cards to me. In those days, that in itself was expensive.There were some cards that I had duplicates and triplicates but  I got very few presents amongst which  was a  little A5 sized plaque that was framed that my brother gave me. I was disappointed at the scarcity of presents as I  expected to have received more. After all , I had thrown a party and fed people for free. I will tell you straightaway that my brother got the brunt of my disappointment, as I took the plaque he gave. I doubt if I said a proper Thank you or even said a Thank You until  he  accosted me to find out if I had received the gift.I am sure my thoughts spoke louder than my words.
I was unable to appreciate what was given to me because I had expectations to receive more and this usually is a problem whenever we get to this time of the year when gifts are being exchanged. Sometimes it is not only the value of the gift that we seem to be unhappy with but what the gift represents. A gift may be expensive but if we perceive that it was not done thoughtfully, we may have a problem in accepting the gift wholeheartedly.I remember some years ago, I overhead two women talking One was complaining to the other about an in-law of hers, “after all I got her for Christmas, you won’t believe she gave me a bottle of wine!”. Her friend seemed to have sympathized with her. As they spoke further, I realized that the reason for the lady’s upset was that  the thoughtlessness of the giver. The bottle of wine looked like a convenient thing for her to give .The recipient did not perceive the gift  to be personal and saw the gift as an extension of being kept at arm’s length.
Things may not always seem like we think and someone we may be expecting more from could be going through a difficult period financially that we are unaware of. Some people have an uncanny ability to hide their problems that if we even happen to know one-tenth of what they have on their plate, we would be extremely grateful that they even thought about us to send a card.
Am I saying we should not bother with the gifts we give then ? Not in any way. The gifts we give to people are a representation of us and as such, we should put a lot of thought in it as much as we can. Sometimes it is not how much it cost but how much care in which we have put in getting it . And before I go , maybe we should also remind ourselves to truly appreciate the gifts we receive this season. There is no point receiving a gift that we never use .It has a way of passing a wrong message, even if we have said Thank you .f someone buys us an item of clothing this season, be sure to wear it! 
Being able to appreciate people is a vital key to keeping healthy relationships .The whole team here @dishusbandmata wishes you a Merry Christmas .
Merry Christmas,


PS: Birthday event was over two decades ago, thankfully I have grown but I am  still receiving presents.


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