Attitude,  By Gracilis,  Single Life

Special Nothings

There was a time when getting married on one’s birthday was in vogue So I was quite surprised when , one of my close friend’s sister said she was not going to get married on her birthday just in case the marriage did not work. She actually said that the wedding  would be done on the man’s birthday so that if they ever parted ways., he will always have to remember on his birthday . At that time, I could not totally understand why someone would be entertaining such thoughts but as the years have gone by, and I have seen more divorces and separation, my heart has tended to agree that perhaps . using one’s birthday to double up as a wedding date is a quite brave decision.

It is a proven fact that women generally tend t remember dates when compared to our male folk. We remember first dates, anniversaries, birthdays and several other dates and sometimes, would quarrel with our male folk for not marking and forgetting these dates. While I get it that some people do not remember even their own birthdays, this is a time to say that you would be losing points unnecessarily if you forget continuously the special dates of an “intended” (trust me, even if she thinks nothing about it, her girlfriends will point it out )

A;though it is good to remember these dates , it is important  that we do not allow our decisions become influenced by dates . Imagine how foolish it would sound  if a friend  who is  waiting  to have  surgery tells  you that  she would like a particular surgeon to carry out the operation based on the fact that that surgeon shared the same birthday with her irrespective of whether or not he had the necessary skill or training. But it is something we see these days, a young lady is getting ready to be  married and after a bit of conversation, one discovers that the only thing she has in common with the guy is the fact that they share the same birthday, how romantic but sometimes I really want to scream “that’s  foolish”.

In those days, it used to be “we are from the same village” and we thought that  was  not too smart  but these days , there is a spiritual angle to it. People are getting married purely because they met at a special annual event at a Church, especially after a strong prophetic utterance. There have been testimonies about how people met the special one as they returned back to their seat. While I do not doubt the many mysterious workings of God, there is a need to exercise caution as   I have seen people in similar scenario begin to work earnestly to make a relationship start and work so that they could use it more as a testimony.

Trust me, some of the divorced people I know have married their own birthday mate or the day before or after, or they met in a special programme and against all odds went ahead only to end up with the papers of divorce. Yes, he is your birthday mate but babe if that is all you have in common, then don’t substitute birthday mate for soul mate.

I just remembered another one(almost fell prey to that one but thank God for being surrounded with truth telling people) we do “My next birthday is a Saturday and I have told God I want to be married on that day ” and I do know someone who went ahead to get married on that day but today, that home no longer exist. It did not last 3 years and thankfully she is remarried now.

So if you are seriously considering someone, kindly don’t tie it down to some special dates alone and neither should we throw a good relationship away just because the person did not remember a special date . That is what I call “special nothings”.


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