As my Online dating subscription proceeded, I seemed to be facing one issue after the other. The next one I encountered was the matter of age. Yes, so many people say it is just a number but is it really a number?
I had been chatting with two of the Irish guys who had contacted me earlier. OlderIrishGuy has had a very interesting life and was looking to get settled with a nice girl and have kids. As a world-renowned commitment-phobe, alarm bells immediately started ringing as soon as I saw that and I had to tell him the age-gap (~20 years) and distance between us would be a problem for me; he was very understanding and sweet about the whole thing.
YoungerIrishGuy and I kept n e-mailing pretty much every day. He was very easy to talk to, which is really nice; some of the other guys I had e-mail exchanges with start off fine and then trail off after a week or so of communication and then I’m not sure what to do next. YoungerIrishGuy had a knack of keeping the conversation going so we’ had one thing or another to chat about every day for more than one week. Still, my commitment-phobic alarms have been ringing non-stop. What if he really liked me?This made me nervous and brings me to the lessons I learnt in that period that I want to share
§ Age is so much more than just a number. I always, always, always thought that older guys were more ‘my type’. In fact George Clooney would be my ideal man forever (he also seems to be spectacularly commitment-phobic so I believe ours would be a truly awesome match. We could already be in a relationship and not know it!). Most of the guys that contacted me on the site were older i.e. 7 or more years older (notice I didn’t say old, although a few of them were) and you’d think this would be my ideal scenario being chased after by older, more experienced Christian men who have a life story. After careful introspection, I have realised that even though I’ve always assumed and totally believed that this was the case, I’m not really attracted to older guys in general. Looking back, I’ve only ever dated younger guys or people who were the same age as me and apart from that one time in the University when I briefly dated my boss while I was an intern with disastrous results, I have never been with an older guy. So, I’m not sure how the whole older guy thing got into my psyche and since I never sat down and thought about it at all, it’s just happened.
The flip side of the coin is that I’m not sure about younger guys either. Although I’ve dated a few, I didn’t go into those relationships because they were younger. If I’m honest I’d have definitely not dated any of them if I knew they were younger but I generally only found out after we’d become an item. In hindsight, most of the issues we had in those relationships (outside of my being a commitment-phobic nutter-girl) stemmed from us being in different phases/places in our lives.
Age really is not only a number but has several other factors that need to be considered alongside before one makes a “husbandmata” decision.
The Online Babe
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