By Gracilis,  Marriage,  Single Life

The Prep to Becoming 2

Last week, Keisha was talking about the path to becoming and it was quite an insightful read. If you have not had the opportunity to do so, it may be better to do so now before continuing with this piece.
 
 
I have lived a few decades here and am yet to be able to count on one finger individuals whom I have met who have not expressed a desire to get married. This usually is a desire for several reasons- sometimes companionship, status, procreation and financial reasons to mention a few . But I have come to notice that not everyone who expresses this desire is actually bothering with the many little opportunities that present  daily to become a better person and God willing, have  a spouse. The grass of the married life usually looks greener to the single person who might be unaware of the cost of keeping the grass trimmed and attractive .Some   people become married only to discover the shock of the enormous responsibilities that come with becoming a home maker, having to deal with managing  time and resources with the right allocation of funds  or even being a provider  as well as the ability to be able to communicate effectively with members of a new family .
 
But it is not that these responsibilities just land on our laps magically after we say I do, on the contrary these seemingly new duties presented themselves in chunky chewable bites along the way.Helping a friend to do practical things in the home can teach us new skills and by visiting a married friend,one might become abreast with the nitty gritty  of taking care of little children . You will be amazed how many people can  plan a sleep over  but  do not think ahead what will be for dinner or what will be for breakfast after the sleep over and even when all that is done,are not concerned about tidying up.
 
 And we can all learn if we bother to as it will not be wisdom if the first time we are getting to change pampers for a baby or tend to a toddler who is undergoing potty training  is when we have your own. Practice makes perfect they say,and there are always people around who need help who will allow us learn. I wont fail to mention that it is possible that some interesting people can act very weird. I remember once several years ago carrying one baby in church  until the aunty of the baby came. The way she took the baby from me that day, I was like, God thank you I am not looking for a child because if   I  was, I  would have most likely  gone home to cry. It was like I was going to give the child leprosy but I knew that I didn’t have leprosy so I didn’t cry .
 
In our single days, it is important to learn the art of serving and we need to teach our children  (both male&female) the art of serving others. Every thing they do should not be about the money(the world won’t end if they baby sit for free sometimes ) and they should learn how to help around the house. It gives a sense of responsibility that makes them become individuals others would love to have around . 
 
What of the skills of conflict resolutions we learn when we have friends , class mates and flat/room mates .These skills learnt will eventually need to be transferred to the ones we love because no matter how much we love someone, conflict is inevitable however if we do not learn how to resolve conflicts but simply run away or put friends that we do not see eye to eye on an issue away, then it makes us handicapped  to deal with our new family members and relationships.
 
So all  I am simply saying today is, let us not ignore opportunities to become a better person by thinking we are not getting any direct benefit  or we are not facing the real deal. As far as I know, the real deal is here and now and we can all work on becoming better people on the path to becoming, not just a spouse but an improved version of ourselves.

Caring at all times about ur heart,
Gracillis
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