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That “other ” Woman
We hate the other woman. Usually, we do not even know that she exists. Somewhere deep down inside we wonder because society has told us since we were children that all men cheat. All men cheat. This singular notion is probably responsible for the breakdown of most relationships. Both men and women hear this and it plays out differently for both sexes. For the man, it is a ready justification not to fight unfaithfulness. A ready excuse that exempts him from culpability because apparently his nature is prone to adultery. For the woman it is a complex mix of distrust, feelings of inadequacy and guilt. Yes, guilt. Somehow…
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Working with in-laws 4
I have been reading with interest this series on In-laws and last week. I noted that a husband shared and so decided to share my experience as a wife. I have been married for over a decade now and have had several interactions with my in-laws but I believe that the tone for this interaction at the end of the day is coloured by what the other partner does or say to their own side of the family . One incident comes to mind that illustrates this point for me. I learned greatly from it, although at the time it occurred, I did not see it in the light. I…
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Working with in-laws 3
I have followed dishusbandmata for some years now, and having read several topics and issues discussed, I thought it would be okay to do some articles by way of commenting on some topics that have been of interest to me from a husband’s perspective. Naturally, I wouldn’t be expected to tell long and flowery stories whilst making my views known, rather, I will go straight to the point and hit the hammer on the nail straight away. That’s because I am a man, and men go straight to the point. Maybe one of those things that makes “husbandmata” an issue for most wifeys. I will try to give a (man’s)…
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Working with in-laws 2
Several years ago, a cousin disclosed to me how she secretly wished for whomever she would eventually get married to, not to have a mother. According to her, she was not cut out to handle any in-law shenanigans. This revelation sent shivers down my spine. Now, why would anyone wish for such a reprehensible thing? It also got me wondering: would the woman I eventually decide to settle down with also harbour a similar wish? Well, I understood where my cousin was coming from. I know her background. Her mother’s experience with her in-laws was unenviable. Now, fast-forward to a few years down the line. My cousin met this guy.…
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New Post
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Working with in-laws
We all come from different families where we most likely got our values and identity. Growing up as children,my siblings and I were brought up to respect each other’s privacy, we were taught that the fact that we are siblings was not an automatic license to each other’s lives, neither did bearing the same surname confer shareholder’s rights in the other person’s affairs and as we grew older and began having our own families, each one of us became more assertive. We showed our love to each other without any feeling of entitlement. We realized early all eight of us were different and there was enough room to be different…
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Cutting your coat
One of the great things about people is that they come in all sizes and shapes. Most of us have friends, relatives and people who always like to appear to be more than they are and quite frankly, they are doing a good job at it. They have perfected the art so well leaving no room for doubts but no matter how hard they try, we are always awakened to the reality when they come again knocking at our doors, to borrow something else or more. Sometimes reality also means we are the ones knocking on doors to borrow, yet again. I still remember the first thing I borrowed. The…
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Cutting your coat
One of the great things about people is that they come in all sizes and shapes. Most of us have friends, relatives and people who always like to appear to be more than they are and quite frankly, they are doing a good job at it. They have perfected the art so well leaving no room for doubts but no matter how hard they try, we are always awakened to the reality when they come again knocking at our doors, to borrow something else or more. Sometimes reality also means we are the ones knocking on doors to borrow, yet again. I still remember the first thing I borrowed. The…
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Chronicles of Borrowing
Although it seems like all I read these days is about the Elections in Nigeria, I have found the time to follow this month’s theme on borrowing. The reason why I have read every post this month religiously is that I also have my share of the high and lows of borrowing. At one point in my life I decided to go into business to support my family, I didn’t want to go look for a 9-5 job because of my spouse’s vocation, I needed the freedom of a business to support him at any time he required. After thinking through what I wanted to do, I decided to…
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My First Blog Post
Hello! This is my first blog ^^ Check out my website site.com for more! Have a nice day.
