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Real friends
If you have been following us in the past few weeks, the subject of “frenemies” would not be strange and so I thought to bring a different angle to the whole matter. Someone has rightly said that the existence of a “fake” means that there is an “original”. So the presence of frenemies should not make us bitter as it actually reminds us of the fact that there are also true friends . It is very possible to experience real friendship but we should be ready to do the work . I’ve often pondered on the meaning of this saying “A friend in need is a friend indeed”. There’s something…
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Seeing the other side
One of the joys of WhatsApp is the ability to connect to several people in a group setting. Although this can be a source of joy and bring back real memories especially if it is to a people we once shared history with , it also has its share of pain and drama. Realistically, the further down the history with a group, the more diverse the individuals would be . Taking my high school Whatsapp group for instance, at one point in our lives , we were all joined together in a private school because we belonged to a certain social class. However, when we parted ways, life happened to…
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Pregnant? An altar reason
Not all marriages begin with “Will you marry me ?”. Some of them begin with “I don carry belle” (“I don carry belle” means I have an unplanned pregnancy)-Facebook Post by Godwin Tom-Lawyer (things that make you say chai ) Sometime ago, my elder brother (Godwin) put up the above post on Facebook (seriously almost all his posts are interesting and when I read it, it initially brought laughter. However, after the laughter, I thought about all the people that I have seen in the latter predicament who sadly had taken that path to save face immediately but actually had found themselves in terrible conditions later on in the long run. While we…
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What Men want…..5
There is something that evokes the depth of our emotion when we see someone crying and one husband comments “Men can be hurt and cry privately in their own way sometimes. “ I gave this point a bit of thought and I would say this also goes out to both genders. To the guys, it’s okay to cry when the need arises. Sometimes you are hit with a tornado of an issue, and it takes everything inside you – and more, to keep your head above the waves. One of the husbands I spoke to shared how he had cried on a few occasions openly and his wife just held him in her…
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What men want …3
Let me just make a confession here. Getting all this information from the men convicted me of some of my actions. “Men are not mind readers – hence the need for clear communication.” In fact, I am guilty of this one right now. I have been moody for over twenty four hours, waiting for hubby to realise that I am not myself and ask what is going on, but the guy is just carrying on as normal and my mood is not getting any better. But come to think of it, if I go and change into something skimpy and walk around the house, still wearing my moody face, I…
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Working with in-laws
We all come from different families where we most likely got our values and identity. Growing up as children,my siblings and I were brought up to respect each other’s privacy, we were taught that the fact that we are siblings was not an automatic license to each other’s lives, neither did bearing the same surname confer shareholder’s rights in the other person’s affairs and as we grew older and began having our own families, each one of us became more assertive. We showed our love to each other without any feeling of entitlement. We realized early all eight of us were different and there was enough room to be different…
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Chronicles of Borrowing
Although it seems like all I read these days is about the Elections in Nigeria, I have found the time to follow this month’s theme on borrowing. The reason why I have read every post this month religiously is that I also have my share of the high and lows of borrowing. At one point in my life I decided to go into business to support my family, I didn’t want to go look for a 9-5 job because of my spouse’s vocation, I needed the freedom of a business to support him at any time he required. After thinking through what I wanted to do, I decided to…
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The Contentment Struggle
Back in my university days, I had a particular dorm mate that was notorious for always borrowing stuff. There was absolutely no limit to what he would ask for. Personal stuff like briefs, boxers, roll-on deodorants, etc., were not spared! Interestingly, he was never bothered by the fact that he often gets these items at the lenders’ emotional expense or discomfort. Sadly, many of us, who were his dorm mates, found it incredibly hard to come out with the blunt, single word of, no. Of course, we were acting the Good Neighbours. We also did not want to hurt his feelings. Well, what makes it worse is how he sometimes…
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Money Matters
When I was growing up, my Dad ran a very successful business and Mum worked at home; okay I would have said a stay-at-home Mum, but I have never been comfortable using that phrase to describe Mum because it somewhat has a way of conjuring a mental picture of a woman who is home all day doing nothing or watching TV – well just throw in a few chores. Okay back to Mum. The phrase just doesn’t suit her. She had nine kids to bring up, two or more extended family per time living with her, and several others dropping in to visit, or spend a few days or weeks…
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Doing the maths
I had a casual attitude to borrowing growing up. I remember my youngest sister looking at me one day and saying ‘How can you sleep well at night knowing you have borrowed so much?’ She just could not live like that. That is inter-sibling borrowing never mind going outside the family. Occurs to me now that people have different leanings naturally. To be fair, she is still like that. I remember begging her to collect a credit card about 1 year ago. I was encouraging her to seize the opportunity of being offered one to do shopping after which she could give herself years to pay off gradually. She refused…
