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Tall,Dark &Handsome
It is interesting how those three words have been used over the years to judge the eligibility of a potential spouse. Unfortunately, some individuals only have these three characteristics and nothing else to offer! Some heartbreaks and even divorces could have been avoided if it was not just the externals that the partners were focused on. So, when I was in the dating scene, I preferred to chat with people first because I did not want to miss out of a great relationship just because a potential did not look the pact. One incident comes to mind. A female friend of mine introduced me to this guy. Let us…
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Gratitude-a relationship enhancer
Birthdays are usually marked in my house and while we were growing up, my birthday was the first of the birthdays of the children (things have changed now with the addition of in-laws , nieces and nephews). It was not that we had a party for every celebrant, but it was usually acknowledged and then since most of my siblings were born in June, my dad would sometimes want the celebrations to be done on the last day of June which annoyingly was one of my sibling’s birthday. There was this birthday I remember clearly not because I had a mini party but because I behaved in an unseemly manner,…
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“I am married!”
I remember the first time I heard these words thrown at me. It was almost 25 years ago, my bestie and I were walking and trying to take the flyover along the Isolo expressway road in Lagos and bumped into an old high school class mate. She was quite a character and had not changed much. After exchanging pleasantries, I noticed she had a baby strapped at her back . I was still trying to figure out whose baby it was when she asked us if we were married. Marriage was the last thing on our minds as we were still trying to get into higher institutions then. When we…
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Marriage is ……
Happy new year once again! I am so excited to be back at my desk and writing. I have thought of several things to say but maybe I should start with this one as it relates to what I want to talk about. Towards the end of last year, I got married! Thank you for your congratulations. That is a life changing event I owe you as my readers to know. Perhaps it would show in the style of writing, going forwards. You know it was really an exciting time before the wedding. As the countdown to the wedding started, I had to answer several phone calls and agree to…
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The “options” game
I noticed sometime ago that I was added to a group on Facebook. You know how suddenly you discover you are in some groups that one random person added you to and for months I never really checked them out until sometime last week. It is supposed to be a ladies group that offers support and I came about the following written by someone. “I have dated my boyfriend for 5 years now but he has not proposed. When he got a better job, I reminded him about us but he said I should give him time that he has plans ,he had plans 6 months had gone and we…
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Newly wed 4
The idea that there may be another significant woman in a husband’s life can be very threatening to a wife. We battle enough with mothers-in-law and special Aunties and even some godmothers; so to include the added burden of a devious other somebody is a pretty big deal. I prayed concerning this area before I got into marriage as I know that I lack the energy to fight for any man. Why should I have to? I told God I wanted what was mine and not another person’s property. God gave me ‘my own man’, but from the first month of our marriage, I had competition. Silver had known my…
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Newly wed 3
There are a lot of things that God has given us the ability to plan and carry out ourselves, but there are some things that God has left to His Sovereignty. While we are aware that there are times and season for certain things to take place, the exact timing of most events in our lives is something only the Father knows. I had a plan. I knew when I wanted to get married and when I wanted to have children, taking into account my age and physical fitness. I got married 4 years after my personal schedule, but I still wanted to wait a few months before starting the…
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Newlywed vibes 2
When I married my husband, I did not for once that my husband andI would live apart. This is something I never imagined in my wildest dreams that I will have to deal with but one thing I have learnt about being married is to be open to change and make the best of every situation no matter how bad it seems. I was believing God for a job and actually wrote down all I wanted in the new job. I kept praying and believing God. I got a call from a friend in the UK asking me if I was interested in a job in an organization here in…
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Newlywed vibes 1
One of the comments I heard while I was single from some well-intentioned guys is “I am your husband” . It was enough for me to walk away laughing. However, this little statement has had a different effect on me since I said ‘I DO’. Marriage is good – it really is, and I’ll defend and support getting married to the right person any day and anytime. However, God in His infinite wisdom has decided that we would not come to each other as perfect beings, but work together to achieve perfection in Him. The process is not a joke. Three weeks after I got married my husband demanded that…
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Desperate Marriage
I met my husband at my church convention, one of the biggest ministries in Africa. We served in the same unit and got talking. We became friends and later o,n he proposed. I was 36 years and I was already anxious because all my five sisters got married in their mid-twenties, the one considered to have gotten married late was 29 and it was because she was studying for her masters. My husband was into dry cleaning business and after a while, the business packed up. I wasn’t deterred, I was confident things would work, I had my plans laid out. I was running a side business because where I…
