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Do me, I Do You! God no go vex
This is a popular saying in some parts of the world. In a nut shell, it means – tit for tat. That’s how I roll! That’s the way we should all roll joor.(pidgin English word for please} The only difference is that I generally don’t pay back like for like but payback I will. Everything will be noted for review and actions put in place and this philosophy of mine affects my family and marriage. When you marry, you become a player in the good, the bad and the ugly on both sides and there is nothing you can do about it. A good way of describing it is in the…
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Love is NOT enough
If LOVE was what kept a marriage, then mine would have outshone eternity. I loved my husband and even the devil could testify to that. I had dreams for my home right from the time I was a child. Like almost every woman, I dreamt about the big day and the many happy loving years after that I had read about in those girly novels. My husband(let’s call him Eugene) and I met back in my home country and started a relationship which did not materialize, shortly after which he left the country. Not long after he relocated, I did also and we renewed contact. I had the right legal…
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My Help meet
So, I’ve been trying to hold back on some comments but seeing as the year is gradually drawing to a close, I thought I should throw in one last rant before I get all sober and align myself to greater heights for 2019. Even as I am typing, my toddler is trying to type with me and can’t understand why I am busy with something else. I have never desired to be a stay-at-home Wife/Mom. I have great respect for all who find themselves in this position, and even more for those who willingly choose this occupation, but I realised early in life that this is not my calling………
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The Prep to Becoming 2
Last week, Keisha was talking about the path to becoming and it was quite an insightful read. If you have not had the opportunity to do so, it may be better to do so now before continuing with this piece. I have lived a few decades here and am yet to be able to count on one finger individuals whom I have met who have not expressed a desire to get married. This usually is a desire for several reasons- sometimes companionship, status, procreation and financial reasons to mention a few . But I have come to notice that not everyone who expresses this desire is actually bothering…
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The Prep to ‘Becoming’
When I think about my single days and the guys I met at various times, there are some comments and experiences which stand out in my thoughts. For example, I remember getting to University and wanting to really experience what it was to be a ‘girlfriend’. While I had hung out with guys and attempted a long-distance relationship (which started while we were apart), I had never really been anyone’s girlfriend in what I thought was the proper sense of the word. It didn’t take long to get ‘hooked up’ but the process wasn’t quite what I thought it would be. My boyfriend was dark and very attractive, not a…
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The Big School
There’s too much drama with the in-laws (at least in my head). It needs to stop. I have realised that I tend to bitch a lot about two groups of people; the people I love the most (hubby, siblings, parents, old school friends who have turned siblings – even if they don’t know this) and the people whose love and acceptance I crave (in laws, would be friends). For category 1; I am not sure why but I expect them to fit into a mould created by me perfectly and I mean PERFECTLY. For category 2; I expect them to love me and accept me unconditionally notwithstanding any failings or differences. They should think I…
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Loving Against the Odds
I know a lot of people who found maths to be one of the toughest challenges in life during high school. It wasn’t so much that it was terrible, or all the teachers were horrible; it just presented challenges that the mind genuinely did not want to handle. Even numbers are beautiful! I gradually appreciated the usefulness of odd numbers until I met prime numbers. Does anyone remember being asked to find the square root of 13, or 19, or 97? “Against the Odds” might sound like the title of a lovely romantic comedy, but when you have to love against the odds, and truly live through the process… Hmmm.…
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Against all odds
For those of us who know about fairy tales (Disney), we know that our heroes and heroines had to face some odds before they could get their ‘happily ever after’. We know about sleeping beauty and her little problem with a sleeping curse. It’s bad enough that Cinderella has a wicked stepmother and she just can’t catch a break, she looses her glass slipper just as she finds her prince charming! Then there’s Beauty and the Beast where her prince has animated furniture to say the least!! The odds really were against them, but they beat those odds. Now in real life, real couples have real obstacles they face that…
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Stopping the Blame Game
This has not been an easy article to write mainly because its not cool talking about mistakes and regrets. I personally prefer to erase them from my history but alas, that’s not possible. It is also not fun to talk about a painful experience when you are still suffering the effects of your mistake. I have a list the length of my arm about all the things I blame my husband for. And to be fair, he probably is to blame for more than half the list! But I also have to look at my faults and make plans to conquer temptation, when it comes knocking again. For example, my…
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Same Difference
When people from different Countries or Continents get into a relationship, differences are kind of obvious. The minute you realise you have feelings for someone ‘different’, all kinds of questions begin to go off in your head like ‘what will my family say?’, or if you are as brutally honest as I tend to be, maybe a more basic question like “would Valentine’s Day be flowers and chocolate, or tickets to see Basketmouth live!?” I’m chatting with this guy who believes I will be his wife. I ask him “why did you end your last relationship?” “She was rude” was his reply. Alarm bells went off in my head. What…
