-
Stepping Up means Stepping Down
It was a sunny afternoon, the kind when the nearest Fan-milk bicycle man is your friend. I had walked the long distance from our house to the gate near the road, busy seeking one such lifesaving men when I heard the shouts and the noise coming from inside the house. “Leave me alone. I want to go away from this house!” She screamed. “You can go”, her mother replied. I abandoned the dream of my ice cream on a Sunny afternoon and ran back to the house to see what was happening. Through the air vent, I peeped into the house…very reluctant to swap the sunny heat for the flaming…
-
Love at Christmas
Christmas is one of the most loved periods of the year but it does have the capacity to be the most stressful and the peculiarity of this year has not changed the dynamics.Family members and some relatives we do not necessarily like all have to be at one place for a reasonable length of time,making the perfect recipe for emotional outbursts and quarrels. And sometimes you do not even need the relatives to cause the problem because the home is filled with tension as couples battle with the financial obligations that the season brings .When it comes to Christmas, everyone seems to get into the default mode of receiving gifts as their …
-
Sleeping with the enemy
Yesterday was International Men’s day and unfortunately while we were celebrating the men, one man in my home country shot his wife and killed himself. His wife was rushed to the hospital and thankfully at this point, we have not heard she has gone to the great beyond. Sometimes I wonder what would make a man kill his wife? And because sometimes it is the other way, why would someone kill their partner? A close friend once recounted the story of a Pastor who died at the hands of his wife following severe burns. She poured fuel on him and set him ablaze in the house .What was even more…
-
Esteem me
People assume we have time for all sorts in this current situation of ‘lockdown’! With the number of Teams Meetings and Zoom Parties, you would think that everyone was jobless and desperate for attention; but one thing we certainly have time to do is ‘think’. From reflecting on the past to preparing for the future, there is a lot of thinking going on in these times, well at least I am doing a lot more thinking than usual. I have good days and not so good days, as the pressure of being forced to stay indoors for my own protection is getting to me a little. I am home with…
-
Early Potholes
I love my husband. Love was not at first sight but it came and it is here to stay. However the process of oneness is not as simple as ‘…I now pronounce you man and wife…’ I’d like to share one of the first issues I faced in my marriage.I expected a few storms and I tried to imagine various scenarios that could arise but nothing prepared me for this particular issue. Being the only daughter in a large household, I had always enjoyed the privilege of having my own room, with my own furniture. As a student, I bought a house and enjoyed a very large bedroom with…
-
My In-Law Wish
Several years ago, a cousin disclosed to me how she secretly wished for whomever she would eventually get married to, not to have a mother. According to her, she was not cut out to handle any in-law shenanigans. This revelation sent shivers down my spine. Now, why would anyone wish for such a reprehensible thing? It also got me wondering: would the woman I eventually decide to settle down with also harbour a similar wish? Well, I understood where my cousin was coming from. I know her background. Her mother’s experience with her in-laws was unenviable. Now, fast-forward to a few years down the line. My cousin met this guy.…
-
Beyond Yesterday
Hi, my name is Carl. And I’m a Dad. You probably already know this, but being a parent instantly transforms you. And no, I’m not talking about my dad bod (please stop staring). I mean it immediately changes your cosmic DNA. You go from being a calm, living, breathing human into a panicked human who is officially responsible for creating a new life—or multiple new lives if God’s in a fun mood and decides that he prefers you feeding twins, triplets or quintuplets. I still remember the first day I found out I was going to be a father. My wife called excitedly from her office to tell me the…
-
My Father’s Daughter
Growing up for me was blissful. I had a father who would listen to me, empower me and reinforce in me, the fact that God fearfully and wonderfully created me. Daddy told me daily how I could be anything I wanted to be. You see, my daddy was 30 years older than my mother. He was better educated in “terms of certificates” than her and he was greatly travelled gentleman. My mother on the flip side, was only a standard six holder, from more humble background but “a very intelligent woman” without the glory of “many a paper certificates”. By virtue of the gap in their background, my mother’s mantra…
-
Keep Counting
Happy Mother’s Day to all, especially to all those who are still counting. I know you may be wondering what I mean but I will explain. I was in a meeting and as we were checking in on each other and an ‘English lady’ needed to explain how she was feeling in detail because it was a different kind of feeling on that day. She blurted out ‘I just discovered that I am pregnant’. This was followed by an awkward silence by the men while the women ooohed and ahhed. We congratulated her and went as far as is it your first? (trying to gauge how exiting this bit of news was), we chatted…
-
All by myself
Self-pride: It is an overdose of self-love added to a good portion of self-confidence multiplied by a cathedral size of self-esteem minus even the tiniest fraction of the condition called selfishness.” I don’t know if am the only one that tried to memorize this as I read Loretta’s write-up about self-love, it got me thinking, and saying to myself if every woman would teach self-love to her daughter, I believe we will have a better chance of our daughters growing up and having a healthy dose of self-esteem so much that there won’t be incidences of killing husbands/boyfriends in a jealousy fit (it worries me as it has become one…
