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No means No
This week, we celebrated the International Day for Elimination of Violence against Women and I tried to do a recording for it. After several attempts, I decided to just use one .I had in my mind’s eye how I wanted the video to be and pointed out to my friend who was doing recording that I was still blinking severally rather than looking straight into the camera with unabated eyes. I confess that I even compared myself to someone else that we both knew and admired . My friend lovingly pointed out to me that my basis for comparison was skewed as this particular person primarily studied Mass Communication and…
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Above 40 , single and childless
That is not my portion. Absolutely. I do agree with you I mean that is what I would have said to this topic about two decades ago but as one of my former classmates would say “whose portion is it ?” Today is Mother’s Day(US version) and we will all agree it has come with a difference. However, the Coronavirus should not stop us from celebrating and appreciating our mothers and a big shout out to those who have already done so. This year, rather than the several celebrations and dining out that would have occurred or the recitals and performances that would have been done by several children, we…
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Much Ado about Nothing
Not everybody wants to stay single. Not everybody wants to get married. Not everybody wants to remain married. However due to circumstances of life, personal, family, societal, religious and other reasons: Persons may not be able to get married, despite their personal preferences. Persons who would rather be single, get into marriage. Persons remain in loveless and/or abusive marriages (perhaps to maintain a facade) despite their best interests. I got married at 39 years, 5 months and 4 days. Prior to that time, I had a friend who would plague my every Facebook post with marriage references, if I posted that the sun was shining, he would comment that it…
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Living a lie
It was one of those days in high school that was filled with hype. There was a lot of anticipation in the air as people discovered who their secret admirers were. It was a season of love and love was surely in the air. I did not get a card but shared in the excitement of a roommate of mine who got one. You see, receiving a card was very rare then and people loved to display how many birthday cards or Valentine cards they got It was a thing of status especially for us in the boarding school. We studied my roommate’s card and eventually discovered the sender who…
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Home or Zoo
Anyone who has been married for more than twenty-four hours will tell you truthfully that it is indeed a journey and would require learning and unlearning of many things to make it work. Sometime during the course of dating and when the decision to marry has been reached, most churches insist on the need for pre-marital counselling. It is a wonder that even in the midst of the troubles that come after the pre-marital counselling, some people think that there is no need for such counselling. Although counselling in itself is not the end of all the troubles, I still recommend counselling and listening to advice, but not all advice…
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Loafers versus Toasters
Last week, Samson said something about not getting all we dream of as it could actually turn out to be a nightmare. I think his advice was timely as this week, we have had more of the sun than we ever wished for during the winter months. It has been terribly hot and although I did not like it, I seized the opportunity as an excuse to have some ice-cream. Licking ice- cream from a stick reminds me of my childhood with the several fables that were passed on as truths. One of the things I heard growing up was “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”.I…
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Blurred lines
I wonder if you read Sunday’s post about saying No.It was the one titled”Red Light”. I could fully empathize with the writer. It made me remember when I had to stay over at a friend’s place last year. This friend was not in town and allowed me to stay over for a few days. As I got into the room, thanking God for a safe journey and unpacking my bags, I heard a neighbouring female moaning in the bliss of sex. It brought back a painful memory. I was studying really hard during my university programme and while working on my dissertation, I was chatting with a friend based…
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The Prep to Becoming 2
Last week, Keisha was talking about the path to becoming and it was quite an insightful read. If you have not had the opportunity to do so, it may be better to do so now before continuing with this piece. I have lived a few decades here and am yet to be able to count on one finger individuals whom I have met who have not expressed a desire to get married. This usually is a desire for several reasons- sometimes companionship, status, procreation and financial reasons to mention a few . But I have come to notice that not everyone who expresses this desire is actually bothering…
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The Prep to ‘Becoming’
When I think about my single days and the guys I met at various times, there are some comments and experiences which stand out in my thoughts. For example, I remember getting to University and wanting to really experience what it was to be a ‘girlfriend’. While I had hung out with guys and attempted a long-distance relationship (which started while we were apart), I had never really been anyone’s girlfriend in what I thought was the proper sense of the word. It didn’t take long to get ‘hooked up’ but the process wasn’t quite what I thought it would be. My boyfriend was dark and very attractive, not a…
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Living truly
Last week’s article was thought provoking as the writer shared her heart out and although I am grateful that a lot of people were able to identify with her, I was pained that the experience was not an uncommon one. I have began to ask myself what can we do, or rather what can I do to make sure that people are in their homes and are happy. Perhaps one of the ways to help will be to discourage people from getting involved in setting up homes that are doomed for disaster before they get married .This is because sometimes the decision to marry itself might be a bad compromise.…
