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Working with in-laws 3
I have followed dishusbandmata for some years now, and having read several topics and issues discussed, I thought it would be okay to do some articles by way of commenting on some topics that have been of interest to me from a husband’s perspective. Naturally, I wouldn’t be expected to tell long and flowery stories whilst making my views known, rather, I will go straight to the point and hit the hammer on the nail straight away. That’s because I am a man, and men go straight to the point. Maybe one of those things that makes “husbandmata” an issue for most wifeys. I will try to give a (man’s)…
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Working with in-laws 2
Several years ago, a cousin disclosed to me how she secretly wished for whomever she would eventually get married to, not to have a mother. According to her, she was not cut out to handle any in-law shenanigans. This revelation sent shivers down my spine. Now, why would anyone wish for such a reprehensible thing? It also got me wondering: would the woman I eventually decide to settle down with also harbour a similar wish? Well, I understood where my cousin was coming from. I know her background. Her mother’s experience with her in-laws was unenviable. Now, fast-forward to a few years down the line. My cousin met this guy.…
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Working with in-laws
We all come from different families where we most likely got our values and identity. Growing up as children,my siblings and I were brought up to respect each other’s privacy, we were taught that the fact that we are siblings was not an automatic license to each other’s lives, neither did bearing the same surname confer shareholder’s rights in the other person’s affairs and as we grew older and began having our own families, each one of us became more assertive. We showed our love to each other without any feeling of entitlement. We realized early all eight of us were different and there was enough room to be different…
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She hurts , we hurt
How could he have done that? Are you sure she was killed? So you mean we will not hear that voice again? What was the church doing? How could she have been so much in the public eye and all that was going on in her home and no one knew? She confided in us but swore us to secrecy. And the comments and questions went on. Even interviewing the children and siblings of the deceased brought out details I would not like to recall . I was appalled when I found out that this gospel singer died from injuries inflicted by her spouse and it seemed the whole country…
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One home,two houses
Living apart ….. this is something I never imagined in my wildest dream that I will have to deal with but one thing I have learnt about being married is to be open to change and make the best of every situation no matter how bad it seems. I was believing God for a job and actually wrote down all I wanted in the new job. I kept praying and believing God. I got a call from a friend in the UK asking me if I was interested in a job in an organization here in Nigeria. I went for the interview and it went well. It was also…
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My hidden Pregnancy
I was not overly worried about not having a baby immediately after I got married because I had had a revelation where I was pregnant with twins. Two years after marriage I was 40. I asked God for a 40th birthday present- my own baby. I missed my period and excitedly went for a test and it was positive, was quite happy. Some days later (Aunty Flow-the monthly visitor) showed up. I got confused and then I went for another test and it came out negative. I decided to do a scan. The scan results showed I had ovarian cyst in one of my ovaries. I did the scan…
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The search for “Y”
Ah, the month of June. Growing up watching the movie ‘Seven brides for seven brothers’ got me thinking June was the most romantic month of all, as it seemed to be the perfect time for a wedding; but as an adult living in a first world country, I came to understand it is also one of the most expensive months for a wedding, for the same romantic reasons. The joy of becoming a parent (by choice) can’t really be described. And while the women get the privilege of carrying this extension of themselves internally for 9 months, the fathers also wear a sense of fulfilment and pride in being responsible…
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Me,a Daddy’s girl?
The month of June is here again and I look back to two years ago, when we could not celebrate Mother’s Day as usual and even the Father’s Day in June was met with mixed reactions. Although there were changes in the Lockdown rules, people could not really visit their father’s without thinking about putting them at risk. I am happy that we have the pandemic behind us now and hopefully visits to our Fathers in this month of June will be back to normal. But normal for me means I would not be paying my father a visit although let me admit, that the thought crossed my mind. I…
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A closed mind
As any regular school morning would go, we were all rushing. Rushing to get dressed. Rushing to eat. Rushing to get in the car. We were finally ready and then I heard a commotion behind me. The twins were arguing 🤦🤦. What was really the issue? Who would stay on a particular side of the car? And I heard “it’s my turn” “can’t you shift” “I want to go thru this way” and plenty other arguments. Back story; they have obviously come up with a system about who sits where on which day, for the sake of equality. And someone else was not following the rules. The irony of this…
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I messed up
Stories about an ‘Ex’ can seem juicy when you walked away with the better deal; but not so much when you are the one who got dumped or dupped. Being an ‘Ex’ anything, still associates you with that thing, implying it is a part of your story, even though it is no longer a part of you. I guess that is why an Ex-Con will still struggle with employment, or an Ex-addict is still advised to stay away from whatever he/she was addicted to. Even an Ex-President still enjoys certain presidential benefits. The status is in the past, but its scent somehow lingers in the present, whether good or bad……
